Abusive Bosses and Your Mental Health

I cried all the way home. When my ex-husband saw my face, he wanted to go right over to Ravi's house and beat him up. As tempting as the offer was, I decided to talk to Human Resources when I got back to work. I felt like I was on shaky ground, though, which was why I hadn't done so before. I was brand new to the company, and here I was after only two months, already complaining about my boss. I didn't know at the time that three other people had already filed complaints about Ravi in the three months that he had been at the company.

I told the woman I talked to in HR that I wanted to be reassigned if possible, as I felt that Ravi was not happy with my work. I told her that I wasn't able to determine what it was that he wanted me to change. She kept asking me for specifics of his behavior, and I realized subsequently that she was trying to nail him, but I was wary of being negative. She did have me transferred to the group of managers who worked under Ravi, but he kept giving them work to pass on to me (even though he had continually criticized my work - go figure).

About two months later he was given a new job. He went from supervising 100 people to supervising zero employees - he didn't even have a secretary. Several months later he was fired altogether. I was only disappointed that I was on vacation that week and didn't get to see his face after he was canned.

The two months I worked for Ravi stand out as one of the most miserable periods of my life. Eight hours a day spent with someone who did his best to control, humiliate and demean me. I felt that I had made a huge mistake in taking the job. I was hard-working and a perfectionist, and even if I hadn't always had bosses that appreciated that, I never had had one who was abusive. At one point, I actually parked outside the company I had left and considered going in and asking for my old job back.

There's no question in my mind that this type of situation can be enough to exacerbate depression in someone who already has it, or possibly trigger it in someone who's prone to it. After all, unless you don't need the job, you're essentially helpless. I was lucky that Human Resources was on alert about him and was willing to move me because of it. But not everyone, in fact probably few people, in this type of situation are able to get transferred within the same company without damage to their career.

If you find yourself in the same type of situation, I would recommend that you do whatever you need to do to get out of it. Unless you have a way to push back effectively against a work bully, which is unlikely if you're their subordinate, the situation is not going to improve. And it is absolutely going to have a detrimental effect on your mental health.

Links

Dealing with an Abusive Boss
How to Deal with a Difficult Boss