Times are tough, economically, for most Americans. Although my husband and I have faced challenges in the past, financially, things right now are probably the grimmest they've ever been for us. We actually could almost qualify for food stamps. I've spent the morning going over our budget, slashing our expenses to the bone to see if we'll be able to pay our bills. As long as we have no emergencies and eat a lot of beans and rice, we might be able to make it.

Part of the problem is that we pay a high rent (almost 60% of my salary), which is one of the drawbacks of living in a desirable area. However, if we moved further out in the boonies, we'd pay a lower rent, but the savings would be eaten up in gasoline costs. Right now my commute is so short and my car is so good with mileage that I only pay about $10 per week for gas. Hopefully my 14 year old Saturn will hold up, because coming up with the money for repairs is out of the question.

But again, living in a semi-urban area would save me, because I could take the bus (with a discounted pass from my employer) for about $30 per month. Not the best solution, because the bus is frequently late, and it's physically exhausting for me, having to use my muscles to stay on the slippery seat. I know that sounds silly, but when you have Multiple Sclerosis, a lot of things that most people take for granted are a challenge. Every time I've taken the bus, it has completely wiped me out.

To be honest, I'm close to hyperventilating from the stress of the situation, which is not good for either my MS or depression. I know that I'm lucky. I have no idea what we would do without the benefits I get from UC Berkeley. Both my husband and I have multiple health problems. The medicine I take for my Multiple Sclerosis would be completely unaffordable without health insurance paying for it. I think it would cost us $1000 per month. Without that medicine, new lesions would form at a rapid pace on my brain and I would be in a wheelchair in a few years. And of course I'm also so grateful that my psychiatrist, therapist and depression medication bills are covered.

I know that I'm far from alone in this situation. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that people who are not worrying about being able to pay their bills are in the minority. Even my best friend, who until recently was in an enviable position financially, is in the same boat. Her husband worked for the last twenty years for a large financial institution on Wall Street that recently laid off, or offered packages to, a large number of employees. Her husband took the offered package, but the problem is that they just built a new house. Of course they started building it long before the economy really got ugly. Knowing my friend, she's probably hyperventilating, and spending a lot of time breathing into a paper bag.

So trust me when I say that I can completely understand why someone might decide that they can't afford treatment for their depression. Doctor's visits and medication can be expensive. When you're trying to decide whether you can afford food, or transportation costs so you can keep your job, treatment may seem like an optional expense.