My therapist just told me she didn't think I was progressing (I have bipolar & am EXTREMELY emotional & sensitive though better than I was because of medication) & said I needed to go into therapy with my husband & gave me a referral.
I'm scared to death of being that vulnerable with my husband. I understand that therapy isn't always supposed to be "comfortable", but I will see this therapist on my own & hope that someday I can be open to the marriage counseling. I do think we have communication problems--mostly because I keep all painful emotions locked up inside & spend a good deal of my time being depressed as a result.
It is so weird the roadblocks you have mentioned that you are experiencing in therapy. Like you, I am a big believer in psychotherapy (although it has taken me a while to actually go for therapy since I am in the psychology field myself - ironic, I know). Unlike you I have started with antidepressants before starting therapy. Like you (again) I entered therapy when I was experiencing a Major Deppressive episode. Months have passed, I have been refered to a psychiatrist (which actually scared the living daylights out of me), which altered my medication regimen. Medication made things easier. but still therapy is hard....really hard. Sessions were difficult and we have dug deep to uncover the demons that was put away for so long. We are now at a stage where I can see the progress I have made...That scares me...I have evolved...but suddenly the terrain is unfamiliar. The unfamiliarity the progress has brought sometimes want me to go back to the place I know...That is hard admitting you aren't the same person who started out undertaking the journey. Luckily I have a wonderful therapist...who is currently helping me uncover this unknown place. Psychotherapy is really a godsent, for which I am greatful every single day!!!
Deborah,
You mentioned that depression itself is a roadblock to psychotherapy. How true! Another is psychotherapists who are not well trained and have personal agendas that might be bad for the patient.
You also mentioned antidepressants as helping you. I just wanted to say that I have been depressed for 45 years, since age 6. I took my first antidepressant at age 18 when I was diagnosed. Over the years I have taken MAOIs, Tricyclics, SSRIs, and SNRIs of all types. No antidepressant has ever made me less depressed. I am giving up on medications at the present time, except for those that help me sleep. I am doing this because they don't help, they have hurtful side effects, and are very expensive for the most part. I am one of the ~30% of people with TRD (Treatment-Resistant Depression).
I have decided to pursue medical devices to determine if they help me, especially rTMS (repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation), and DBS (Deep Brain Stimulation). I have ruled out VNS (Vagus Nerve Stimulation) because of the invasive surgeries required, the poor record of success (some improvement in about 1/3 or people, the very long time that it takes to alleviate depression (sometimes 1-2 years), the low efficacy even when it does help, and the very high cost.
I would like to hear more about new non-drug therapies of any type.
Thank you very much, Your posts are very helpful and I always read them.
Mike
I was in deeply dissociative depression when I first sought therapy. I was trying various antidepressants and mood stabilizers at the time. I can honestly say I didn't get much from the therapy, even though I stuck with it several years, but I felt both repelled and attracted to it...as I suppose everyone does. What really helped was all the journaling I did in conjunction with whatever we talked about in therapy, digging deep into myself and my past -- till it started making sense.
But the other real value of therapy for me was having to get out and do something once or twice a week. Having an appointment I had to keep. I even made myself dress up and look good, which helps most women feel better. Adding this bit of structure to my life was what helped keep me from going completely insane. And I NEVER MISSED A SESSION over the years unless I had been hospitalized. So from that, you know I acknowledged the need for it.