Thanks - great article. I've lived this dilemna forever.
I've been an extreme introvert my whole life. And I've been in and out of clinical depression most of my life, starting as young as 10. I could say that I'm introverted because I'm depressed, because I fear that if people get to know me they will discover my "secret" (depression) and reject me. Or I can argue that I'm depressed because I'm introverted, because I find myself surrounded by people, in jobs, in situations where I have to be much more outgoing than I'd like - it's draining and eats at myself self-esteem and I second guess every interaction, every comment wondering if I said the right thing or made the right impression.
I've known extreme introverts that were confident and happy, and extreme extroverts that we're nothing short of a social and psychological train wreck. The issue for me boils down to the fact that I, like most of us in our society, are taught that introverts are just weird losers, that there is something wrong with us. And that we should change to be like the extroverts. So I spent most of my life trying to be something I wasn't, and then hating myself for not being able to live up to someone else's standard.
I think that if I had years ago accepted - no embraced - my introversion, perhaps I could have saved myself years of agony and meds and self-doubt and fractured relationships. I could have chosen a different career where my ability to get completely absorbed in the task - without the socializing- until it's done to perfection would be an asset. I may not have dismissed so many people who could have turned out to be interesting people and true friends because I was trying to get noticed by the "right people," the ones whose mouths and personalities made sure they always got noticed. The ones who usually wound up rejecting me. Maybe I just would have been happy to be the way I am, with my head held high.
re: Depression and Introversion
Evan
Wednesday, November 04, 2009 at 03:42 AM
I feel the same way, Im in my 4th year of university and this eats at every aspect of my life
My family is the only place that I feel comfortable, I can barely talk to anyone outside of my parents and my brothers, and even then I dont talk about deep issues like this
This affects friends (even the few friends I would consider close), girls, extended family, school (meeting new people/presentations are just as bad as the lock jawed red faced story above), part time job (i get totally absorbed in the task to avoid talking to any of my co workers) and not to mention the ordeal of going to parties and meeting new people, guys and girls alike
The only girls I have been with were extremely outgoing, I dont know what they saw in me, I think Im pretty good looking but if thats all they wanted that makes me feel worse
But I have never been diagnosed with depression because nobody has ever recognized it and Im only now thinking I may be depressed
If you have any advice please email me at elitvak16@hotmail.com
Thanks - great article. I've lived this dilemna forever.
I've been an extreme introvert my whole life. And I've been in and out of clinical depression most of my life, starting as young as 10. I could say that I'm introverted because I'm depressed, because I fear that if people get to know me they will discover my "secret" (depression) and reject me. Or I can argue that I'm depressed because I'm introverted, because I find myself surrounded by people, in jobs, in situations where I have to be much more outgoing than I'd like - it's draining and eats at myself self-esteem and I second guess every interaction, every comment wondering if I said the right thing or made the right impression.
I've known extreme introverts that were confident and happy, and extreme extroverts that we're nothing short of a social and psychological train wreck. The issue for me boils down to the fact that I, like most of us in our society, are taught that introverts are just weird losers, that there is something wrong with us. And that we should change to be like the extroverts. So I spent most of my life trying to be something I wasn't, and then hating myself for not being able to live up to someone else's standard.
I think that if I had years ago accepted - no embraced - my introversion, perhaps I could have saved myself years of agony and meds and self-doubt and fractured relationships. I could have chosen a different career where my ability to get completely absorbed in the task - without the socializing- until it's done to perfection would be an asset. I may not have dismissed so many people who could have turned out to be interesting people and true friends because I was trying to get noticed by the "right people," the ones whose mouths and personalities made sure they always got noticed. The ones who usually wound up rejecting me. Maybe I just would have been happy to be the way I am, with my head held high.