Why someone might be reluctant to get treatment for depression (and how to help)

Deborah Gray is the creator of the Wing of Madness depression site Living With It Creator, Wing of Madness Deborah Gray lived with undiagnosed clinical depression, both major... Send Message Subscribe: Deborah Gray

Tuesday, September 22, 2009
View All of Deborah Gray's Posts

Before my own depression was diagnosed, I dated a man who suffered from clinical depression and alcoholism. Of course, I wasn't aware of this when I started dating him, or I never would have started. I don't have a burning need to "fix" people. A couple of months after I started treatment for my depr...

Hide Comments | Add comment

Helping depression sufferers
LizUK
Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 12:25 PM

This is really good advice, thank you. When depressed, mentally and physically drained, it's so difficult to achieve the seemingly overwhelming details of getting help, even after you feel there may be a chance to get it.

Helping physically and practically such as finding doctors, making appointments and perhaps offering transport etc. is one of the best things someone can do to help.

re: Helping depression sufferers
jpw2008
Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 01:15 PM

hi

I live with my mom.

I had to coax her over a no. of years to get help.

She has been recieving some treatment and is a little bit better.

We have both been bounced around from doctor to doctor.

I was trying to coax my mother even when I had to coax myself.

I didn't really want help until i had 2 weeks worth of insomnia changed my mind.

I forgot what i was going to write

Jon

Much needed advice....
Merely Me
Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 01:25 PM

Hi Deborah!

I will definitely be referring people to your article here. There are so many people who want to help their loved ones or friends but don't know how. I remember when I was so depressed...I was crying at work and finally my friend and co-worker dialed the number for a therapist and handed me the phone. It was the best thing he could have done for me. Some people won't take the phone...but some people will. It is worth a shot.

Thank you for writing this!

The physical and mental exhaustion
Charles Bivona
Friday, September 25, 2009 at 12:50 AM

And for me, it's panic, too. I was abused as a child. The pain is so old it smells dusty, it bursts from my pores. I hurt in the old ways. I taste the adrenaline of the original fear in my mouth. I feel the old clench of terror in my entire body. Every muscles braces for more punishment.


It seize me up sometimes. I’m at the kitchen sink, doing the dishes, and I freeze. I remember in my body, as much as my mind. I shake. I flash back. I feel waves of terror and confusion wash over me. It’s all coming out, at last.

All I can think to do is write it all out, so I do. It helps. It’s healing. I am forgiving the past for its failings. I am forgiving myself, slowly, for my own.

I hope you are doing well in your struggle.

http://charlesbivona.com


re: The physical and mental exhaustion
Marishka
Sunday, October 11, 2009 at 01:26 PM

Hi Charles,

I love it when I can feel the words someone writes in my body--your writing is wonderful, thank you. I too, feel the terror and panic--I am feeling it right now, actually--what do we do? I have thoughts run through my head based on associations of what I have seen or experienced recently and then try to figure things out based on previous experiences of what happened after this happened...etc. It throws me into a panic and leaves me out of the moment, completely in my head. I remember a term once used was 'future projecting' or 'future predicting'--projecting the worst outcomes for the future, then feeling panic over them. How ridiculous, I tell myself, I can't predict the future. Then I get all wrapped up in the theory of quantum mechanics and think about how we think about or see something changes the way it actually is---or something like that!...I just go around and around trying to think this way or that way or do this or that to try to bring about the outcome I want or think I want!!!Silly! I know that's when I need to bring myself back into the present moment. You mentioned the panic when washing dishes--I know what to do sometimes too, just don't do it because it takes a lot of discipline--breathe deeply, focus on what I am doing in the moment, the washing of the dish for example, the feel of the water on my hands--this does work, but I have told myself I can only do this when it is quiet and I cannot be disturbed by the car noise that seems to send me into a panic constantly if not a rage....discipline, discipline, discipline I think and practice.

Anyway, I liked your writing a lot--put your panic energy into writing a book?

Duke Ellington--"I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues"

(I want to use my energy like this!)

Cheers, and thanks for sharing

Smiles

Untitled Comment
Deborah Gray
Monday, September 28, 2009 at 12:51 PM

Thanks for the replies! I think that it's important to tease out the reason why someone's reluctant to get help. There's always a reason, even if it's just a vague fear. If you bring it out in the open and address it, I think the whole process will generally be less frustrating.