Why do people resist taking antidepressants?

I totally agree. It's hard enough to get started with antidepressants, and then when it doesn't work...I think I was focusing more on people who refuse to even try them, like I did for a while.

It's extremely frustrating. I agree that his reponse is probably due to his depression, but it might be that he is afraid of being evaluated for some reason. Or maybe he thinks it will mean he's weak.

he's emotionally abusive, and puts *everything* that's wrong back on me.  He's in denial that anything can possibly be wrong with him.  It's getting worse, it seems by the day.

Hi,

Just a thought...sometimes people get stuck in "fight" and "blame and shame" mode and this creates a lot of arguments. Have you tried any of the two tactics mentioned below to try and open up communication between you...

When criticised by him (blamed by him) have you sought to ask further questions... "I have heard that you think it's my fault so something has upset you. Why are you upset by what I have done/said?" This is to try and find out more information and avoids becoming immediately defensive and just continuing the conflict. It also allows him to exlore the real reasons why he is needing to blame you for hi ow reactions to events.

Or ...

Have you tried agreeing with him ....WHAT? I hear you ask... for example... saying "OK. I hear what you are saying...that I did/said such and such and you became upset. Do yo want to talk about this now so that we can both understand what happened?"  By reflecting back what you have heard from him, you are showing respect for his point of view...you may not be in agreement with his point of view...but you certainly need to understand it better to avoid conflict. Similarly he needs to respect you as well.

Sometimes when people are angry or feeling defensive they will not want to discuss the matter...if this occurs then if the matter is still unresolved try and talk calmly about it at a later time when the blame and shame reaction is less likely to occur.

Hypno

Dear Merely me and all,   I  havent been online as withdrawing and going thru hell with efexor XL. with help of my Prof.of Psychiatry.  Anyway havent been up to websites or emails. Anyway nearly there now and feel strong. I am however going over to another SSRI and taking a small dose.  My anxiety is so disabling and the Agoraphobia that I suffer with the Depression that SSRIs do actually give me the ability to live a relatively normal life.   They also have a dual effect.

My Rheum.Arthritis is unbearable most of the time. I can go on Methotrexate which is Chemotherapy used for Cancers of the Blood with awful side effects.

However, Antidepressants work on the entire bodys inflammatory response and they [SSRIs] help enormously with pain. People with Depression have double the chance of getting heart disease too because of this inflammatory response so it helps with that too. this isnt pharmaceutical jargon, its known by Heart Surgeons.   So, I'm happy to go on Lexapro on a low dose to alleviate my pain which is unbearable and also to give me the chance of living a normal life and go out, without these Meds I wouldnt be able to.   We're all different. I feel no Stigma for taking them any more, not after what ive been through.   love to all

Dear Deborah, Thanks for a wonderful Post. Can relate to your story.I suffered horrendous Migranes as a kid right up to my twenties. I wasnt taken to the doctor but they were a symptom of an underlying Anxiety disorder.I too refused to take Antidepressants, I was young, although v anxious etc, life was good, I didnt want the stigma. When I was told that my intense phobias and Anxiety which made it impossible for me to hold down jobs was caused by Depression I bawked at that ! How could Anxiety be a symptom of Depression ? I knew it all.

I was bubbly then, was working, had a good social life and a sense of security in so much as, I had a home, income, was asked out on Dates, had friends. I staunchy refused to face the Depression issue. I drank to relieve the anxiety and this alongside the Sedatives I took, got me into some awful situations. My self esteem was v low. I eventuallly had a breakdown.  In my 30s Depressive episodes [it runs in the family on the paternal side going back generations] started to become disabling. Thought patterns became distorted. I felt that I wasnt good enough for a v good job I held down, I felt physically ugly, my confidence [day to day interaction with people, tasks, etc] all eroded. I was slowed down , constipated mentally and physically, agitated, crying, hating myself.I was ashamed of my Depression, the Anxiety made me physically sick and nausea was a daily occurence. I would walk down the road and go running back with anxiety. The weird thing, some inner vanity or maybe its a people pleasing thing or the fact that my 'family' held good looks in such high esteem, I always washed, dressed well and made up my face, so I wasnt your typical, unwashed, disheveled Depressed person. Perhaps that fooled people because when I got a Diagnosis of Clinical Depression and a question mark around a mood disorder, friends were appalled, but youre great fun? you always look so good? truth was, I  had experienced so much rejection in life as a kid etc, that I was afraid Id send people away, so I became a great Actor.  Like you Deborah, I took the Antidepressants. I felt that Ishould try and be a better person, be kinder, forgive,look outwards. There was lots of negative reaction and I lost some 'friends' who couldnt cope with the Bad depression. i learnt the real meaning of Stigma.   After 3 weeks on the Antidepressant, the awful morning anxiety, churning in my stomach, fear, dread, self loathing, dizzy spells, vertigo, crying fits,total insomnia, inability to concentrate on a book TV , news, all faded, and my distorted thoughts began to normalise. I realised slowly that I had left a v good job because I felt unable for it, due to distorted negative thoughts about myself. When that unwell, affirmations and the like dont work and I found people like Louise Hay, frankly,both annoying and Dangerous, not only did she assure us wed feel better when we said each day 'I am a wonderful person etc' but it didnt work when v depressed, she added a new dimesion to my Arthritis and Depressio - Guilt. So i threw out Louise Hay tapes and took my Meds.  I was soon back to Me. Able to laugh,confident, now thats not to say that it was a 'Magic Bullet' nor did it mean I didnt have to work on Me and my  short comings and failures and the need to forgive and move on etc., but i think that new Medical evidence shows the link between heart Attacks and Depression, I think its a 1 in 3  chance.     Life is tough enough. I take Antidepressants, and as a young thinking and looking 58 with no support systems, a relatively lonely life and a cv as long as a loo role, I now state [I nearly typed 'Admit' -hard to get rid of the guilt and shame syndrome] that I suffer from a Depressive Ilness ad will have to take Meds for the rest of my life. Perhaps...    I get so Angry when I hear Dr. Phil say theres a payback. None for me.  I realise all antidepressants have side effects, just as all other meds do. Ive been suicidal and Antidepressants help this.     I dont see the Bravery in going without...especially if you live alone, arent working and living on v little money and dont have the money to change where you live, go on holidays etc., I also think its toxic if youre in a relationship and wont take meds. Its so bad for the other person living with you, your kids and loved ones. I consider myself a brave warrior, a survivor of alot of things in my life, but Im not a Maschocist.  the price is too high.

Dr. Phil is one of my least favorite people! He's so self-righteous. Hey guy, walk in my shoes for a day without antidepressants and see how you feel.

I felt in the beginning that maybe I was taking the easy path by taking meds, but then I realized that was stupid. I wouldn't feel that way about other medications. I take blood pressure medication for my high blood pressure. No one is encouraging me to go without them. Why do they insist I should go without antidepressants, or I'm a wimp?

I think that for many people therapy only is an option. For me it wasn't, unfortunately. I did try going off antidepressants after six months, at my doctor's suggestion, but it became clear that wouldn't work.

Part of the problem is that many health insurers are reluctant to pay for therapy. It's more expensive then medication. So you face an uphill battle in many cases if you want to try therapy.

Dear Deborah, Its the same here in Ireland, Really good effective Therapy or counselling costs a fortune. You get what you pay for. Im speaking about 150$ to 200 per hour. I go to a public Welfare type Counsellor and I just get a chance to vent whats been on my mind. In all honesty, I dont get great feedback, its cosmetic. Anyone really good, works for themselves and charges ! Thats a fact. Ive found some very good Self Help Books on Depression, usually co written so that you get a therapists point of view, a sufferer of Depressions point of view and then the Psychiatrists.   Im on BP tabs as well as Cholestrol. I eat certain foods to try and keep down the weight, if I get a bad chest infection with a flu, I have to take an antibiotic [much as I hate them] yet, theres this niggling feeling inside that somehow Im not a 'strong' person in the publics eyes. I keep telling myself 'what other people think of me is none of my business' and my recovery and staying well depends on this autonomy and to be free of the need to impress or go with societys Stigma. There is still dreadful Stigma around Meds. for Depression/Anxiety and Depression itself. I could scream when my friend  whose studying her finals in Psychotherapy at College says 'I get depressed' I deal with the issues. Deborah, like  you say 'walk in my shoes' before you judge me. Ive already listed a host of symptoms in my last post here. They make life unbearable, Why should I go on a roller coaster of emotions? crying fits, endless irritation, horrific insomnia, alienating all remaining friends with my melancholy and not having the energy to live life when a medication can restore the balance of Serotonin etc in the Brain?   I mentioned Dr. Phil coz we get US TV here and he was telling this woman who was depressed and couldnt go outside that she was getting a payback. Well ! Dr. Phil, Ive no relations, I live in a place with no community spirit, payback? No food in the house if I cant make it to the shops. No friends calling. there is no payback for me and I certainly dont write away for Deep black depressions. If anyones ever gone through a really rough dark Depression, I dont think theyd bawk at somebody taking meds. Some people can be  helped with just CBT and good old unconditional acceptance and counsellling, for me, it goes deeper and for hundreds on this site so lets lose the Guilt and get real - My new Moto? I take Meds for bad Anxiety/Depressive illness and if you have a problem with that? Tough.   Take care everyone. Lets stick up for ourselves more and fight the Stigma !

Here! Here! Rose

Couldn't agree with you More.

I agree. I've always been pretty aggressive, in a way, about talking about my depression, even in the workplace, which I admit is a huge risk. But I figure that maybe if I talk about it matter of fact-ly, instead of acting like it's something to be ashamed of, that will help de-stigmatize it.

Dear Hypno,  Sorry to all, havent been online as have been going thru alwful Withdrawals from 6yrs on Efexor XL. Am doing it under Medical supervision but am going thru hell.   Hypno - Just need to let you know.. Pharmaceutical meds are infact usually 80% Herbal. Herbal doesnt equal safe, herbal is just as toxic if not monitored and used by experts, Self medicating is dangerous. Kava Kava being a v toxic herb, also Gingko Biloba is extremely dangerous and a woman died coz she was drinking the Tea.  St. Johns Worth is ok for moderate Depr. but not for v bad depressions and mood disorders. Its also imperative to go to a properly trained Herbalist or someone who knows about same and get the correct dose.    Valerian is used in Valium [hence the similar Latin  names] alot of anti depressants have Vit Bs too.   The heart Tablets mostly contain Digitalis as u know, a v well known Herb. I  used herbs.  If youre taking a sedative or another drug, its v dangerous to take St Johns worth or other herbal remedies ie passiflora [from the passionflower] they interact with other Arthtitis, ME meds so its best to go and get prof help. Im not trying to be autocratic here, just would feel guilty if anything happened to anyone on site.

I wish u all the best with your therapy. in your case, you prob will be able to get to grips and not need Antidepressants, unfortunately, Ive tried and the symptoms are just too disabling both for anxiety and Depression so Im changing over now to another SSRI.    best o luck. 

Thanks Rose Martin. Good to know you care. I'm used to herbal meds and I only take very small doses....I consult a herbalist but usually take one third of what they recommend. My body is extremely sensitive to anything I take. I've now almost eliminated the St John's Wort - I only take it in the mornings and I am only taking the Valarian occaisionally. This I would take in the late afternoon to aid rest and encourage sleep. I'm really working productively on the acceptance of myself and the negative thoughts. I've realised that if I accept myself with those thoughts then I will have no need for those beliefs and they will over time disappear. I had tried to "fight" against the thoughts which only ended up in me thinking them more and the thoughts becoming intrusive. So now I am concentrating on creating honesty with myself based on an objective view of my self-worth and regaining control over my life once again by flexing my own willpower which unfortunately has taken a battering recently. Anyway it seems to be working quite well at the moment and am managing an extremely stressful situation with more calmness than I had thought possible for some considerable time. I'm hoping the situation will pass soon so that I can remove myself from the stress and make sure I do not make it a habit by picking up another stressful situation after this one. Anyway, once again thank you for your advice and good luck with your meds/approach to your circumstances.

Hypno 

Hi Hypno,

Many tks for your reply. I just have had personal exp and became v ill with St johns Worth. Glad you have a good Herbalist. I agree with you totally about the thoughts and the flexing of the will. I would say Im a very very strong person. Willpower, determination, feel the fear and do it anyway etc.... affirmations dont work when  youre down, avoiding toxic situations and troublesome situations and people does and we can carve a good life out for ourselves.   I wish you well on your  journey.

Every good wish