I know I need to go see the doctor... I know how dangerous the risk for infection is... I know proper treatment will reduce healing time and amount of scarring. Why am I not going then? Why is it so hard? I don't want to have to do the whole hospital thing yet again. Waiting hours to see a doctor, then they'll send me to psych and I'll... Read more
I can't believe I'm back to this low point and now I'll have to pay for it for the next year. I burnt a big area on my thigh. There are some areas burnt to the third degree. Last time I did this, I had to go through 4 months of hydrotherapy three times a week. This is extremely painful as they scrape off dead skin and apply chemicals... Read more
Well, I've started work... so far so good. I doubt I would be able to do more than 5 hours a day though. I am soooooo exhausted afterwards that I yawn my way home. I'm hoping that this will improve with time. I imagine it will be easier once I develop more confidence and ability, after all, I have absolutely no experience in this field and... Read more
I feel much better today... huge difference if you compare it with yesterday where I spent most of the day doing research on how to kill myself successfully. But today's different. Today's my birthday and I decided this day would be for me only. I told my family that I didn't want the big dinner thing right now, maybe next month. No,... Read more
This song, by Jody McBrayer is basically what has kept me holding on for the last few days. I don't know if I would be here tonight, typing these words if it wasn't for the honesty in his voice and the wisdom in these lyrics. I thought I would share these verses with all of you in hope that they may help you... Read more
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