Information and opinions on Depression from Angst at MyDepressionConnection.com. The HealthCentral Network, Inc. (www.HealthCentral.com) is one of the top health destinations on the Web, with more than 35 condition-specific, wellness and general health Web properties. http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855 http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/rss self application/xml en-us 15 120 19 http://www.healthcentral.com/images/hc_logo_sm.gif http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855 http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/45482/reflexions Sun, 19 Oct 2008 22:21:40 -0400 Angst The human nature compels one to become attached to people or objects, to dreams, beliefs, values, to an idea, an experiment, to memories, and many more... But everything is transitory, there nothing which cannot be removed from us. ‘Being' rhymes with ‘disappearing' and indeed, all that has the capacity to be, can undoubtedly disappear. Our only guarantee in life is that there are no guarantees in life. Ever more, I realize to what... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/45482/reflexions http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/16193/alive Fri, 09 Nov 2007 23:30:00 -0500 Angst Well... it's been a very difficult last few months. It took an especially unpleasant experience in the ICU for me to understand that I don't want to go back there. If you've never awakened, not knowing where you are nor what day it is with a tube down your throat, hands tied, feeling like you're choking - I wouldn't recommend it. I believe it was truly God's will for me to end up there. I prayed and prayed for a sign,... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/16193/alive http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/13758/back-doctors Mon, 17 Sep 2007 18:21:00 -0400 Angst Well, it's done, I just saw my new psychiatrist... and nothing went the way I had hoped The social worker was there during the meeting, which I didn't want.I didn't get anything to help me sleep.They reduced my follow-up, I'll only be seen by the social worker 1x/month but I can call her between appointments - which is not something I'm very likely to do.They will be contacting the people who "supervise" my... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/13758/back-doctors http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/13651/fears-issues Sat, 15 Sep 2007 01:24:00 -0400 Angst      I'm seeing my new/old psychiatrist on Monday... I'm hoping it will be one of those long "first meetings" - my social worker said the Dr. said it wasn't necessary because she "knows" me. I don't really see how that is possible, aside from the pile of info in my file. I've seen her once before. That was two years ago. My previous doctor left, so I was switched over to her. Around... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/13651/fears-issues http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/13026/confusing-life Sat, 01 Sep 2007 01:16:00 -0400 Angst "It's like we were given just enough info to get an idea of whats going on but not enough to do anything about it."This is so true, a response given to me by a fellow borderliner. I know and understand what's going on (sort of), but when it comes to thinking about it, I freeze. The DBT tricks don't work for me because I know I don't stop and think about what's wrong with my pattern of thought or to challenge it.... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/13026/confusing-life http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/12916/sigh Wed, 29 Aug 2007 20:32:00 -0400 Angst Here I go complaining again... as usual. Nothing ever works out, nothing is ever good enough. It seems that everywhere I go, everything I see turns around love, marriage, sex, and kids. Just rub it in my face. While this is a time for me when I'm trying to come to terms with and accept that these will most likely never be a part of my life, everything around me just reminds me of them. I cry when I see a show about parenting. I cry when I... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/12916/sigh http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/12780/hate Mon, 27 Aug 2007 00:00:00 -0400 Angst I hate myself.I hate life.I hate hating.I hate this.I can't go on like this... I can't "tough" it out anymore. But I have no choice - this is the life that was given to me and I have to right to take it away. "Thou shalt not murder" Killing myself would be a form of murder. So that is not an option. I don't want to give up what I have, don't want to ruin it or jeopordize it, but it can't stay like this. I... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/12780/hate http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/12713/universe Fri, 24 Aug 2007 23:14:00 -0400 Angst Sometimes I feel so small, so insignificant. But this week someone made me realise that I am not so unimportant... everyone and everything is here for a reason and God created them all to co-exist in harmony. The world is a magnificent place. Whe you think about it - man is nothing without the animals and the plants, who are nothing without the earth and sky and water and sun. Can you imagine man without a planet, or a planet without life?That... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/12713/universe http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/12378/lifes-journey Thu, 16 Aug 2007 02:06:00 -0400 Angst I was just playing a computer game, one I play several times a day. In the game, you can choose different level options. Tonight, I chose to play in "Journey" mode. The journey begins at the Child level. When you have suceeded in completing that, you move on to the Easy level, then Medium, then Hard, and finally Evil. You play and replay the Evil level until you die. It made me wonder, is this really how life's journey goes?... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/12378/lifes-journey http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/12371/happen Wed, 15 Aug 2007 23:21:00 -0400 Angst Can't you just feel lousy, can't you just want to destroy yourself, without anything happening? Why is it that when you're not feeling well, the first thing people asked is what happened? What happened is my life... that's what. Just makes me really mad that people, especially mental health professionals, haven't yet understood that a person can just be screwed up, period. Why does something bad or stressful absolutely have... http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/1855/12371/happen