Depressed: My brother is ending our relationship!

By RichardTheLionheartd Sunday, May 31, 2009

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I know you think this OCD email was an attempt to be helpful, but it just showed me that you have taken it upon yourself to approach our relationship more as a therapist than as a friend. It also showed me that you have been secretly monitoring my behavior, keeping a list, and building a case against me. This makes me feel like you are judging me, and have been for years, which makes me not want to be around you. Your email also confirmed for me that you listen to me selectively, hearing a skewed version of events that jibes with your pre-formed world view. I never asked you to be my therapist, so please stop monitoring and pathologizing me. Doug"

I feel yelled at. Do you think he's yelling at me? Does he have OCD? What do you think of this "pathologizing" business? What opinion do YOU have?"

Rich

It's not over!

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Comments (3) | Add comment

Merely Me, Health Guide

6/ 1/09 5:19pm

Hi Rich

Well...one thing I feel uncomfortable with is that you have reprinted your letter to your brother as well as his response in a very public place. Should he see this...I fear he may terminate your relationship for good. These are very private correspondences that you share with us...and without his permission.

I think that you need to worry less about whether or not he has OCD and focus more upon your relationship with him. It is my very humble opinion that perhaps you might try offering an apology to him.

This is maybe not what you are wanting to hear but it is my opinion.

I hope things work out between you and your brother.

Judy

6/ 2/09 7:42pm

Rich, I tend to agree with Merely Me and I would add that maybe this experience has shown you where the boundaries are with your brother - going past them would seem to jeopardize your relationship. I think with each person we relate to, we get to know what their and our limitations are, but it's good information to have and then you have to decide if you still want to continue, given those limitations. I hope you can work this out with him.

ladygraycloud

6/ 3/09 8:17am

I am so sorry for this with you and your brother, but I have learned with family and any kind of depression it is hard to get them to totally understand any of it--I begged for help from my family in 1989 and was told it will blow over and the next morning they found me dead from overdose (of was brought back by my sister) then in the hospital she never came to see me, again pain was there, a year later my Mom died and she stuck to me like glue wondering what I was going to do--I told her all I wanted was a sister to talk to love and count on when needed-Well today I have bipolar 2 with manic episodes and OCD and anxiety disorder--thank god she always has time now.

Takes time but will pray for you both

ladygraycloud/Suzanne

Depressed: My brother is ending our relationship!

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