Hello,
So tonight during a quiet moment that I had I began to have some thoughts. Some of you may know that three months ago I had a miscarriage and a little bit after that my husband and I agree that in about three months after that we would start trying for another child, well a few weeks after having that discussion I started to have doubts that he was going to follow through with the plan and I had decided that I need to finnd some ways to protect myself from being hurt. So I decided to look into geting my tubes tied, and when he discovered that I was doing that he got upset with me. I told him about the fears that I was having and he old me to have faith and trust him. Now that he has changed his mind all I feel is anger because I trusted him and I ignored my first instinct. Now I dont know how to let this go and move foward. It also dosent help that I keep seeing pregnant women all the time and some of my friends are either pregnant or just had a baby. Part of me feels like I'm about to lose it and just really let him know how I feel, I'm just worried that I may not do it in a nice way. I feel kinda betrayed, and am I wrong because I'm questioning my relationship. Someone please help me. Thank you
Hi, Babygirl. I'm a little confused....are you doubting that your husband actually wants another baby, or doubting that he'll stay with you afterward, or is it something else? I do think that if you aren't able to trust him in whatever it is, it's not a good time to have another child because, trust me, a child complicates things. If your relationship isn't all that stable, a baby throws a lot of stress in on top of it. Do you think he would go with you to couples therapy? It sounds like you could use some help with communications; I'm sure you realize that having your tubes tied without discussing it with him would not be a good thing for your marriage, because that threatens his trust level in YOU.
I'm sorry about your miscarriage, it must be very sad for you and then to be disappointed when your plans to get pregnant again are threatened. It's important to take care of yourself first before you make a life for a baby and think about the long-term effects it will have. My son and his wife started falling apart after their child was born, partly because she was unprepared for the responsibility of dealing with chronic illnesses that he had, and my son not being able to deal with her constant anxiety and drama over it. They didn't get help and now it's over and my grandson is the one suffering the most. They are doing a pretty good job of putting him first, but he misses their being together.
Hang in there, keep talking and writing. I hope things work out the way you want them to.