Am I selfish

By babygirl27 Sunday, February 12, 2012

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So I have a question and i'm not sure what to do. Please help me.

Back in August of 2011 I miscarried my baby, now my husband has said that he dosen't want to have another baby. I have respected his wish and I have gone on birth control. However I still want a baby, and right now it seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant, and having babies. My question is am I wrong for me not to wanna attend any babyshowers, or visit new babies. Don't get me wrong I am very happy for them but I am still sad for me so everytime I see new babies or go by the baby isle in the stores I pretty much breakdown. I don't know how to get over it and move on. If anyone has anyone suggestions I'm all ears. Thank you.

Comments (2) | Add comment

nanypat

2/12/12 9:24am

I think that sometimes when people miscarry, the mom gets support from her friends and other mothers and family because the feel for you and your loss. But what about the dad. He has lost his baby too. It is much harder I think for them to get the support from others who may not understand that it is a big loss for him also. He hurts too and needs to grieve that loss but how? When men are not quite in sync with what he is feeling, it makes it so much more difficult to talk to anyone about.

I wouldn"t give up the idea that you would like a baby.I think he needs time and a way to grieve before he can be ready to open up to that and take another chance.

This is just my thoughts after having seen some couples dealing with this type of thing. I am sorry for your loss.(((hugs))).

Merely Me, Health Guide

2/13/12 7:05pm

Hi there

I had my miscarriage over 16 years now and I still tear up thinking about it. I don't think this type of loss is necessarily something you "get over" but in time you accept.

I think in your case you have a complicated kind of grief because not only have you lost your baby but now...your partner does not want another child. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. This is such a difficult situation...I do wonder how you will handle the future with wanting a baby and your partner does not. Is this decision one you can accept? The wish for a child is strong. It doesn't sound like it is going away for you.

I felt the same as you following my miscarriage...I had to go to my best friend's baby shower and it hurt like hell. So I do understand.

If you need some support...you got it. This is not easy what you are dealing with by any stretch of the imagination.

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