i was with hime for 1 year. i like him so much . our relation was good and i decided to make it better . but suddenly everything change he started to act me like starnger he didnt touch my hand  or show his love to me. i thought this might be for his studies and his works but i was wrong he acted me cuase he wants me to cut this relation but one day he loved me i mean show his love another day he was sooooooooo bad to me  he made ma confuse .i become sick of this and feel depressed .we wants to marry after his exames. i am so sad .he played me.he told me he has deep depression and one day he said he has bilopar but i couldent believe this . i still think he played me and  he act infont of me . i cant forgive him and this is hard for me cause i saw nightmare everynight .

thanks donna but i think everything finished between us. i cant help him anymore.he is doctor and he knows about his problem verywell .the main thing is he is not sure of himself .he tried to humiliate me .he ruined everything . he tried to hurt me so much. i loved him but he didn't. this is the reason that he cut this relation.i wanted to be with him despite his disorder but i didnt think like me.

First you tell me "it is finished" between you and your boyfriend.  Then you ask how you can help him recover.  I don't think it can be both ways.  Either your relationship and caregiving functions end, or you continue to be attached in an unhealthy way.  Unhealthy for you.  And it's not really helping him because, as you say, he prefers to be his own doctor.  If I were to give you steps of recovery for him, it would be:

1. Go to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis and treatment plan (including medication.)

2. Take the medicine as prescribed.

3. Continue to see the psychiatrist on a regular basis, anywhere from once a week to once every 3 months -- whatever is required.

4. He needs to educate himself about what "bipolar" means and how it applies to him.

Until he is stable on medication, I doubt that therapy would do him any good.  But it might do you some good.  I know it must be terribly painful for you to go through this because you love him.  But he has not been loving to you, has he?  It is time to make the decision to be your OWN caregiver.  Take care of yourself.  Nurture yourself.  Make arrangements to continue life without him.  Tell him why if he is not violent with you.  If he is violent, just get away.  Go to a women's shelter.  Go home to your family if that is possible.  Start over.  Believe me -- I got into a relationship with a man who was not good to me and was married to him for years before I wised up and got a divorce.  And he wasn't even  bipolar or depressed.  He was a narcicist who thought of no one but himself.

You do not need to continue a relationship that is not good for you.  And it appears you have already tried to get help for him and he refuses.  So he has made the choice to be selfish and have his own way, despite the fact it is destroying both of you and your relationship.  He is sick.  He may not even be aware of what is going on or how to help himself.  I know that.  But you are not responsible for making him well.  In fact, as much as you care for him, you still will not be able to make him well again.

Donna