Self Fulfilling prophecies

new to this, but suspect it'll do me some good to "let it all out" as it were :op

Where to start. I'm a 25 year old male, single. Have had to move back in with my dad, but thats not why im depressed.

Its a few things. Over the weekend, i lost my wallet, and then some money. but i do this all the time. Im on my 30th issue bank card in 7 years. THATS how scatter brained I am. and it makes me so amngry with myself. i came in last night, and when i realised how absurd my behaviour is, i just broke down.

might sound silly to anyone reading, but my life is a catalogue of erros and failures. uni, for example- stop enjoying it, and left. |IT course- couldnt understand it, and stopped it. driving- had 18 lessons, and now... i dont know. its almost like im scraed to get back into the car. i just have no motivation, and im really not passionate about anything.

The next biggy (pun there, youll see why) is my weight. im not huge. i know im not. im 5"11 and about 16 stone. pretty big but not huge. boy does it kill me though. ive sat down and analysed myself, really thought about it. why does my weight upset me? hmm. maybe im worried that if i like a girl she wont be able to see past it? and maybe being with a girl makes me feel a little better about myself?

i spose the crux of it is i cant stiop giving myself a hard time. sometimes i want to give myself a good cuddle, but i cant bring myself to just ease up. and i dont know why.