where are you when i need a friend

By lynn Saturday, March 24, 2012

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I'm dying inside! I'm just at the end of my ropes. So here is my story! I lost my mom to breast cancer in June 2009 and my bf ,of over 10 years, left me in March 2010 and I relocated to the east coast in March 2011. I thought i could get through anything! i always been label the strong one of my family. I was molested by a family member and became pregnant at the age of 16, the state took me and my sisters and it paid for an abortion. The abortion has left me unable to have kids! I've never spoke these words to anyone its always been to hard to deal with! I found out that the guy i was with has had a child and he seems so happy with his new life! he has blocked me from his phone and now im messaging him via fb with no response! i just cant understand how we were together for so many years and he cuts me off just like that. I dont want a realationship with him i just miss talking to him! he always seem to care and really listen! this grief is so massive! i have drove my sisters crazy about talking about him all the time! so i just somehow have got to deal with this! when i think things are gettting better i fall right back into a slumper with no light to guide me! i use to talk to my mom about things and she always gave me a glimmer of hope! i have nothing left! i feel i have no reason to go on!!

Pain. Very painful.

Comments (3) | Add comment

Merely Me

3/24/12 7:10pm

Hi Lynn

It sounds like you have been through hell and back. This is so much for one person to go through in such a short amount of time...so much loss. It seems that your immediate loss is that of your boyfriend? Can you tell us more about the circumstances? Did he just cut you off with no warning? How is it that he has a child?

If this person is treating you so coldly right now...he may be saving you from more grief by cutting things off sooner than later. Do you really want to be with someone who would leave you like this? It must really be painful but you now have to look after you.

Do you have any supports? Any friends or family to talk to? Do you have a counselor or therapist? Is it possible to seek out a therapist? You have a lot of grief to cope with....you can't do this alone. You need help from others whether it is from peer support or a counselor.

Tell us more of your story and maybe we can provide more suggestions. It sounds like you are in crisis. Although we are not a crisis intervention site...we can give you links and numbers to people who do deal with crises such as what you are going through. Let us know what you need.

Your life is of great value and worth. You need some time to heal and I don't think you have been granted that time yet. You need good and supportive people in your life right now...they are out there. Don't give up over one guy. You are worth more than this.

Keep writing to us and let us know how you are doing and if you need some resources...we would be glad to give them to you.

LyraStorm

3/26/12 2:04am

I'm so sorry you have gone through so much. It's no wonder you feel overwhelmed. I'm glad you have your sisters to talk to, by the sounds of it, but perhaps it would help to seek a therapist? The therapist won't get annoyed no matter how much you might talk about something, like your ex. On that note it might actually be a good thing to have distance from your ex - he needs to support his family and you no longer have the partnership you once did so leaning on him is no longer an option... is there anyone else you can turn to?

I hope things look up soon.

madwoman58

3/28/12 10:10am

I feel your pain,truly.... I lost 3 parents in seven months,dad,mother in law,and father in law,uncle had a stroke the same week 2 died. My father in laws sister died 2 days after him. My step mom dumped me 3 months after my dad died. He was cremated and I do not know where he is. I also could not have children,my husband and I adopted a baby girl, she is now 31,and we have parted ways. My mom now has cancer and is taking care of her 90 year old husband. He needs to go in a nursing home and she will not do it, she is killing herself day by day. I am waiting for the shoe to drop. I am o n disability,have had knee/hip replaements. I need another knee and hip done. Also need back surgery. I am in pain 24/7. Right now with my situation I cannot give up a yr of my life to get my back done. My mom lives 8hrs from me, I am the only child. My stepfather has four children,they all hate him,as do I. I could very easily kill him,and just get it over with. He is a bully, abuses my mom daily. My physciatrist retired in Dec,which I feel you need. Nothing wrong with it. I am going to a new group,and they all have to meet over my records because they do not know how to treat me. Four Drs!! can you imagine? I feel you also need a therapist,just so you can talk talk talk. I wish I knew who you are,I would help as much as I could. Know that I am thinking of you!

where are you when i need a friend

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