I have just split with my bf of 7 years. Since last August he has had 2 episodes of going AWOL from the house. Was on antidepresants and seeing a psychiatrist (one appointment). He left 9 weeks now. In that time he has said he does not miss me, then he does. The latest t...
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What To Do
Judy
Sunday, August 02, 2009 at 02:39 PM
Hello, Tequillaslammer. Sorry you are having to go through this. It sounds to me like he has made the choice to leave, but it's too bad that he wasn't able to talk it through with you first. That's the part that's hard, I think. He might be using depression as the "excuse" for leaving, but since he's gone AWOL before that, maybe he's just not sure HOW he feels. It might be good that you're separated for a while so both of you can think clearly about what you really want in your relationship. Or maybe you don't want one at all - that might be where he's at. I don't know you, of course, so I'm just surmising from what you've said. If you don't like how he's treating you, maybe you should use this as an opportunity to move on - I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who would treat you better than this. Think about what you want to do with your life, with or without him, and focus on that goal because you haven't yet been able to count on him being part of the picture.
Hope you can get more clarity about this and come to some kind of understanding with him. You can't control what he does, only how you react to it. I wish you all the best in this.
re: What To Do
Tequillaslammer
Monday, August 03, 2009 at 12:14 PM
Thank you for the reply. We had talked about him having bipolar. I went to gp and explained what had happened, she was the one who had done the original referal. She was horrified at what he had done and said she certainly would not have advised him to leave the relationship and that was not what she refered him for. Dont know what will happen but thank you for the advice.
Andrea
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This must be a confusing time...
Merely Me
Monday, August 03, 2009 at 06:02 PM
Hi there
It sounds like you have been through a lot with this relationship and maybe not sure what to think at this point. It is just my opinion but psychiatrists generally avoid telling patients to leave relationships.
What is it that you want at this point? Do you want answers? It doesn't sound like you could salvage the relationship right now. It might be in your best interest to let go as he has left. But that decision is yours to make.
I wish you the best of luck.
Hello, Tequillaslammer. Sorry you are having to go through this. It sounds to me like he has made the choice to leave, but it's too bad that he wasn't able to talk it through with you first. That's the part that's hard, I think. He might be using depression as the "excuse" for leaving, but since he's gone AWOL before that, maybe he's just not sure HOW he feels. It might be good that you're separated for a while so both of you can think clearly about what you really want in your relationship. Or maybe you don't want one at all - that might be where he's at. I don't know you, of course, so I'm just surmising from what you've said. If you don't like how he's treating you, maybe you should use this as an opportunity to move on - I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who would treat you better than this. Think about what you want to do with your life, with or without him, and focus on that goal because you haven't yet been able to count on him being part of the picture.
Hope you can get more clarity about this and come to some kind of understanding with him. You can't control what he does, only how you react to it. I wish you all the best in this.