I have my back against the wall and don't know where to turn .

Thanks, Susan

It is good to know that someone cares even though you have had a similar problem.  I get up in the morning, we leave the stepson on bed, return dead tired from work and find him still asleep. He has stolen our property and traded it for drugs,  is a constant liar and is trying to split us us.  So far, it is working. He is always wanting us to give, give, give..and has cost us thousands of dollars (in excess of a hundred thousand).  I have learned that once you become a victim of a drug addict, you are trapped. He uses his four year old to keep us from throwing him out of the house.  I feel it is a no-win situation.  I have yet to find a therapist who has any idea how to handle this situation.  dan

The Court needs to get involved.  Set him up to get busted. rar1951

Susan, thanks.

You know, we seem to feel each other's pain. I hope yours has gone away. You have many bad memories, but I think you are dealing with them.  That is important.  I don't know how to deal with mine yet.  I have been married for 30 years.  The last 8 years have been hell.  There are two stepsons in their 30's...one is dead from a car accident. I saw my wife go through that and tried to help her, but she blames me in the end because we moved and he didn't want to go , so he went to live with his alcoholic father and his brother.  Both were allowed to whatever they pleased, and took after their father.  The youngest lived with us, was taken to church and taught the right things. But he eventually began the same kind of behavior as his father.  I think it must have been inherited.  Now he is just like him.  My wife has become unstable.  He hates me even though I have always tried to support her.  Now that the 37 year old has lost everything he owns he and the four year old have moved in with us.

For the last four years, my wife and I hardly speak.  She becomes violent and hits me with things. She gets mad instantly and takes out all her frustrations on me.  I have been beaten with lamps, dishes and other objects.  I never strike back and try to calm her.  I never know when it will happen.  Last night, we came home from work.  I helped her cook dinner.  The stepson got out of bed long enough to eat and went back to bed.  I helped her clean up.  All of a sudden, she decided to take out the trash bag and came back in cursing about never getting any help.  I went and sat on the porch.  She came out and tried to pick a fight.  I said nothing.  Yet she is convinced it is my fault for the argument.  She is taking her anger out on me.  We have had therapy, but she stopped going when the therapist hinted that she was causing the problem.  I don't want to leave out of pity for her.  I want to just leave, lose our home and everything else and move in with my ill brother.  At least he won't be screaming at me all the time.  Deep down, I both love and hate her.  It is difficult.  While my stepson was in jail for 40 days, we got along fine.  As soon as he came back, the fighting began.  I live with an underlying anger that I cannot stop and it is killing me.  I am becoming like a zombe.  The only feelings I have are for my little Peckingese, Abby.  I know it sounds wierd,  but I can't understand why I continue to live this way.  There is no hope.

  There is always hope. I use this dove for a long time now as a reminder of a promis made by God to Noah. He flooded the earth with water and saved his family in the ark. He also saved 2 of every animal aswell. In the Bible is a lot hope He has given freelly to all whom will recieve it.  When my ex left me and childern to play husband and daddy to a whole family right next to us. Our next nabors not down the street even. I children had to watch him and new family do every thing togher.  I had to be mother and father to my daughters. I am not a widow but God has made a way for us to make it. I lost a farm, I had no credit, no car, and now no friends. I let God put His plain for me and children in to the work. I place it all in  His hands and now my oldest is married and on the road with a truck driver, My youngest is a well repected employee at Hobby Loddy. The youngest takes care of me and has learn to work on homes with me. I'm very proud of them. They made the chose to forgive their father and move on. Austin was hooked on drugs and achool by the woman he left us for. But you don't need to keep putting up with this aduse to feel that you are helping them. That is what I might by drugs becomes a problem shared by the whole family. Even if you do move out and think you have to take this do it.  They might failly wake up to the real drug problem and start doing something about it. God bless you and take care. 

You are creating your own prison.  Make a decision.  Now!  Flip a coin if you have to.  Don't keep opting not to make a decision.  rar1951