How Do I Cope?

I am going through a bitter custody and divorce. I recently lost custody of my 3 kids. The man I love and want to spend my life with is having a hard time being supportive because he has a rough past and has a hard time dealing with his own issues, let alone mine.

 I suffer from depression. I was always my children's primary parent and I feel like they have been ripped out of my life. I am having a real hard time with this. I moved away from where my children live to get away from my controlling ex. I have switched jobs because the job I had I was able to see my kids everyday, which meant having to see their father, which was difficult. I left because he and his new girlfriend are trying to find a way to get me arrested. (He is VERY vindictive because I chose to leave the marriage, because he was controlling).

 I feel completly helpless. I can't talk to my boyfriend because he is tired of hearing about it and I am just pushing him away. But I don't know where to turn to for support. I need to talk about it, to help me get out all the pain I am feeling. Last night I got drunk for the first time in over 10 years. That is not me. I am pushing away my boyfriend, the one and only person I am close to, but I also have distanced myself from my family and kids and that is killing me. I need help.