I am going through a bitter custody and divorce. I recently lost custody of my 3 kids. The man I love and want to spend my life with is having a hard time being supportive because he has a rough past and has a hard time dealing with his own issues, let alone mine.
I suffer from depression. I was always my children's primary parent and I feel like they have been ripped out of my life. I am having a real hard time with this. I moved away from where my children live to get away from my controlling ex. I have switched jobs because the job I had I was able to see my kids everyday, which meant having to see their father, which was difficult. I left because he and his new girlfriend are trying to find a way to get me arrested. (He is VERY vindictive because I chose to leave the marriage, because he was controlling).
I feel completly helpless. I can't talk to my boyfriend because he is tired of hearing about it and I am just pushing him away. But I don't know where to turn to for support. I need to talk about it, to help me get out all the pain I am feeling. Last night I got drunk for the first time in over 10 years. That is not me. I am pushing away my boyfriend, the one and only person I am close to, but I also have distanced myself from my family and kids and that is killing me. I need help.
Hello, RSue, it sounds like you are really suffering right now. Losing custody of your kids had to feel crushing, I can't imagine how I would cope. I would suggest that you find a therapist to talk to, as it doesn't sound like you have one. It would be a safe environment in which to release all the pain and sorrow and to get support. You probably need more help than your boyfriend can give you and if he's having a hard time dealing with his own stuff, he's probably in no position to be as much support as you need.
I hope you'll keep writing here and let us know how you're doing. If you don't think you can afford a therapist or don't have insurance, let me know - we have some information on how to get help without it.
Thank you for your response. I was seeing a therapist, however I didn't feel as though it was helping. I was on meds, but I think they were making me feel worse. I stopped taking them, I have stopped the drinking. (The alcohol made me feel horrible!). When I do see my kids, they remind me how much they love me and that makes me feel like they still need me. I just need to make an effort to see my kids as much as I can. Hopefully, one day, I will get them back.
RSue, maybe you didn't have the right therapist, or the right medication. It's not uncommon to have to try different medications to find the one that works the best. Therapists, too, are all different and sometimes we just don't "click" with them. If you continue to feel really bad, I hope you'll consider giving this another try. Working with the right person can make all the difference in the world.