I just don't know

Shortly after I posted this, he did call me. He said he didn't hang up on me and he didn't call because he was too busy. I find it hard to believe he couldn't find 5 minutes to call especially since i was home sick Wednesday night. It would be great to see a couples therapist but we are long distance at the moment. It is hard not having constant support from him. I just need him to be more understanding and not flip out over things. I wish he would ask for clarification if I say something negative or misdirect my emotions. He just gets mad first then asks questions later. On a good note, I am feeling much better. I am also looking forward to spending time with family then friends tomorrow. Thanks for your support. So far, I love being a part of this forum. It helps me feel like I'm not so alone with my problems.

My fiance and I talked things over, and he's going to work on being more patient and understanding. He also told me that I need to work on being a little more open when it comes to my feelings. Sometimes I don't tell him how I'm feeling until it's really bummed. I would call that conversation a success and I will have to see where things go from here.

Hi Stewie,

 

Well done you for opening up to your boyfriend. I've found the more open you can be the better 'cos things can be cleared up before they fester and get out of proportion.

 

I've been with my partner now for 19years and only had the depression really badly since 1998 although I must have had it on and off all my life. Anyway...I had a really awful bout of depression over the last two years and during this time our relationship suffered. It must be really difficult dealing with us when we are so down...and what's worse is they have to cope with our irrational thoughts and beliefs without having the benefit of hearing them first.!!!! It sounds like your boyfriend is doing the right thing for himself...protecting himself when he needs to and learning not to engage in discussion with you until he has calmed down...it's much better than fighting and it gives you time to cool off as well...then when you do talk you can both be more objective.

 

You seem to now be moving to the same page...keep up the good work, don't forget to listen to his views and feelings as well and try and talk about fun things with him as well as the ones on which you need support. Relationships should be fun even if they are long distance! Just be creative with your communications!

 

Also don't forget you are two separate individuals who need your own space as well to act independently of one another and go places and experience different things as well as the time you share collectively as a couple. That way you can look forward to the time you spend together without feeling the pressure to be together all the time.

 

Take care now and hope to hear how things are progressing.

 

Hypno

 

Do keep sharing and take care.