Not sure where to begin.  I'm pretty sure this is going to ramble on, so if you don't care, or know you're going to get bored, you might as well stop reading now. 

My job puts way too much stress on me, and because of my level of anxiety about all the things that COULD go wrong, I do nothing about it.  Being stressed tires me out and aggravates me, which usually leads to me not taking my meds regularly.  It's been a long time since I've taken them on schedule, but I know it's gotten bad.  I haven't taken a pill all week.

That has just led to other problems.  I can't function at work, I sleep all the time, I can't make decisions, I'm confused about everything.  Household things, like paying bills, washing clothes, cleaning up... I haven't done in over a month.  I can't bring myself to do anything but ask for help and sleep.  Problem is, no one ever answers when I ask. 

Am I suicidal?  Probably.  But I don't care enough about anything right now to want to kill myself.  At the same time, I would welcome death or pain.  I imagined burning myself with cigarettes earlier, or blood dripping from fresh cuts in my arms.  I'msick of trying to reach out to people.  They don't help.  I either get no response, or some religious crap that does not help me in the least.  People say to take things one day at a time, but how?  This day held nothing positive.  I know there's nothing positive waiting for me tomorrow.  The only thing I know for sure tomorrow is that I'm going to let people down.  I'm not ready for work and I can't do it.  I can't take pills, because I can't move.  I just want to pull my skin apart.  Is anyone even listening to me?  Probably not.  It doesn't matter anyway.  I guess I'll just stay in bed, and maybe do the hospital thing again.  Or maybe I'll just give up on society altogether and sleep my pitiful life away.