bi-polar depression

Thank you for responding I finally feel someone understands and cares.  Right now I'm more manic and yes I can tell what my mood will be like depending on the sleep I get.  They have me on sleeping pills to help me sleep but there are nights after I've had an up and down day that I just can't sleep and just want someone that understands to talk to at those times.

Right now they have me on ambien to sleep, lamictal for the depression and abilify for the bi-polar and that one is maxed I can't have any higher doses.

You know there are some nights when I'm awakened hearing what sound like my daughter or son who are grown standing in my room saying "mom" or hey mom.  It's a little unnerving since no one is there.

I just wish I could control the ups and downs and have a happy medium but I never know what's going to set me off.  I can sit all day and stare at the tv and do nothing and then one little thing will set me off and I'm up doing all kinds of things and ranting and raving at the air.  How can I live like this?  Since I was diagnosed I realized I've had this all my life it's just gotten worse.....led to my divorce, ruined my marriage but now I have a man in my life who does understand as much as someone can that doesn't have this but he wants to understand he reads about it, listens to me only thing is he's not here right now he's doing a job far away for 6 months and we talk everyday but it's not the same.  Again, how do I live with this?  I'm worse than ever.

Thanks for listening, it's really really appreciated

Hi again

Well hey...any time you are feeling manic or depressed...you can always come here just to talk.  No guarantees that someone will always be here at that minute but I can guarantee that someone will be here at some point during the day.  We have quite a few members who respond to the questions and shareposts routinely.

Six months is a long time...I can see why you would feel at a loss.  That must be very hard on you.

What has helped you in the past to deal with your times of mania?  Maybe we can get more suggestions from our members about how they cope during these times.  For me...writing helps.  I write until I can't write anymore. 

Anyways...you have support here.  We will try to get you through this time.  Hang in there okay?

Snowy, go to DBSAlliance.org  they can  help you fine a support group near you. Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance,  Chicago Illinois.

I totally understand where you are coming from.  I too have Bi-polar, on the depression side.  Before I was put on meds, I had a lot of scary manic moments.  I still have a few, but they are not harmful in any way.  It had to do with the sleep I was getting too.  I was so anxious i was just not sleeping.

It has been about 5 years now and I am on this mix of meds:

Invega 3mg

Lamictal 150 x2 a day

Klonopin

Amatadine

Lunesta

This has done the trick for me....it has taken alot of work, figuring it out, but I am blessed to have a great doctor that listens and knows her stuff.  And she believes me when i tell her I am having a bad time.  which makes a big difference.:)

Also, I did about 5 years of therapy, which made a huge difference too!

i hope things go better for you.  It is such a hard disease to cope with and for others to understand.  My husband does pretty well, but he usually calls my attention to my mode and i then realize it and either take a klonopin or cognitively work through it.

Take care of yourself!

Snowy, I can relate to everything you said. uncanny how we are so alike but different too. You will  find a lot of support here so please share your illness with us. Get help, give  help. I am new on here and not learned my way around yet. I ll get it or ask my computor men (hubby  son) for help.     Kelti

You asked me to share my illness, well besides bi-polar depression I have fibromyalgia, arthritis in my whole body especially in my back and neck, chronic headaches and degeneration in my spine and neck.  I also live in a situation that doesn't help with the stress.  I live with my daughter and her 3yr old son and I'm taken advantage of terribly not being able to have time to myself but always watching him.

Anyway I don't want to ramble but I'm so happy I found this site so I do at least have someone to talk to.

Thank you

Ladies, I have known hallunicationas in the night. It felt like some one sitting down on the foot of the bed and the place looked like someone was sitting there too. I finally decided to look at it for what it was and now it has gone away. Now I have another one. Strap  on your seatbelts! An audio that sounds like a fart out on the front pourch. Its ok, you can laugh now. I can just see us all in group and I tell this and you all die trying to keep that laugh in.  Go Figure!