Explaining Depression to Friends and Family

  If people would look at themselves first made they could see what is happening to someone else.  This is a good way to help someone realize they can make a difference in someone lives. God bless you all.  Thank you so much.

callmetroubles

I have quit going to my support group because of their misguided belief that I'm not working my program if I have depression.  Just when I think my cousin understands my depression by agreeing that their is a genetic link from my father's side of the family - that it's not my fault - she leaves me with the impression that she thinks I'm defective - genetically, and even my sister says I'm incompetent, which is not true.  I have decided that I will focus on helping others in my situation with depression and mental illness, etc., and eventually I hope 'what they think of me' is no longer a problem for me. ..... To choose my friends more carefully in the future and I already have supportive helpful doctors, and I plan on reading and/or going back to school to study the huge field of psychology, pharmacology, and neurology, and complete my degree.  Thanks for bringing up the topic, it makes me feel not so alone.  

If only it were that simple. I think that is the main point that some people simply cannot understand things that they do not experience. People like that will wear you down and wear you out. Its a lost cause. A person with any sort of illness needs understanding supportive people in their life. This is no different. I have suffered from Depression my whole life & grew up with a mother who never understood anything that I experienced, felt, or went through. The best thing I did for myself and my own sanity was to stop trying to make her understand.-Goth Celt Girl

I was going to scream the next time my sister told me to be greatful that...

now I'll just explain the diffrence between clinical and situational depression.

In response to being told to simply have a more positive outlook and count our blessings.

This comment could only come from someone fortunate enough to have never suffered the dark place of depression. Unfortunately, my General Practioner is one of those someones. I went to see my doctor with my partner in ablubbering wreck asking for HELP. My Doctor knows of my trauma over the past two years. My mother died of 52 tears old of very very agressive breast cancer. I changed my hours at work to monimal hours and devoted my life to help this beautiful lady. Dad {55} did not cope, he resigned from his supervisory role for the council, hunted down a long lost love and they both Abused alcohol day in day out. Mum had only been gone six weeks. The day mum died of cancer July 8th, my best friend of twenty two years, was diagnosed with breast cancer. From one cancer bed to another.Also Six weeks prior to mums death and my girlfriends diagnoses, my fifteen year old niece was diagnosed with Leukemia. I was an only child and was doted on. We were a very close family and they also doted on my two daughters. Dad became very distant when he hit the bottle. He knew that it was so hard to for us to watch him kill himself. My parents were somewhat financially secure and with mum leaving a healthy life insurance, money atleast wasnt an issue. Also because dad worked for the government, he could retire at 55. Dad had alot of money in the bank.  His superannuation and the sale of the family home made it even healthier.  When i did see dad, i would notice how unhealthy he had become. Sadly, 26th of april, not even two years after mum died, dad died of a massive heart attack at home. He went very happy though i imagine, i worked out he blew a bout half a million dollars on a lavish lifestyle of alcohol and handing out cash to make friends. He had no money left for the future anyway. Its been a year since dad died and i have been consumed wiyh my nineteen year olds severe case of endometriosis for which she is now recieving chemotherapy to hopefully control it.

Back to the moral of the story.

When i went to see my Doctor for some help for depression, He put me on an antidepressant and did a quick councelling session of "you just have to think a bit more positively". My partner quickly butted in and gave him aquick reminder of what i had endured over the past two and a half years and told him that my behaviour of late is extremely out of character for me. When i went back to my doctor the second or third time to have my medication changed as it wasnt working, the councelling happened again. "just think" he said "at least youre not dying of cancer or something like that.  The look on my face was of absolute shock. The stupid part was my thoughts at that comment, I wished i was dying, then maybe it would be acceptable to be depressed.

 I have been on 75 mg of effexor a day  for two weeks and i am noticing a very slight improvement. I will hopefully go up to 150 mg daily in anticipation of the light. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I would like to thank you for taking the time to explain depression. It is something that I have been trying to do for my husband for a very long time. I have had chronic depression for most of my adult life. It is hereditary, my mother had it, her mother had it, etc. Most people only see one part of me and that is the side of me that holds it together, is responsible, looks like she could do anything. The other side of me is the one that internalizes everything and never feels like she fits in.

Recently when my husband was told that I had chronic depression and it could date back more than twenty years in my medical records, he was surprised. He kept asking me things like, are you happy with our marriage? Did I do something to make you sad? What can I do to make you happy? I have tried to explain that there is nothing he has done, said, or tried that has made me sad. But what I really haven't said is that it has nothing to do with him! That's it, plain and simple.

If I knew what caused depression I would be rich. If I knew what caused me to be a "normal" person on medication for depression I would be rich. And finally if I knew how to "fix" me, I would!

After reading this response to depression I realize that I have clinical depression. There really isn't a reason for the depression and it is all in my head (so to speak). I am printing off this article and taking it home to open up some dialogue with my husband and maybe this will help take the guilt off him.

I believe I suffer depression actually I know I do. I dont know what type but feel as if no one in the world has or is going through what I am. I know differently.

 

I've lost my wife, some of my friends and on the verge of losing my kids to this sickening illness.

 

I had a great job that payed well, the best family a person could wish for and I've lost most of it to this illness.

 

I was talking to a counceller the other day and she asked me when the last time I was truely happy. And I can honestly say I cant remember...

 

I just wish I had of done something years ago, but I didnt realise I had a problem.

 

I'm currently on medication (anti-depressants and sleeping pills), Ive felt suicidial, to a point where I couldn't see no turning back.

 

What I'm trying to say is people who haven't experienced it cant fathem how over powering it is. I explained it to my ex as being stuck in quicksand and the more you try to get yourself out the deeper you sink. I guess sometimes you need some one to throw you a rope to help you get out.

 

I still love my ex wife i cant help that. But Ive also accepted it. I lost my job today because of depression and I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow about getting serious help because at the moment I think I need all the help I can get...

 

If your feeling a tenth of the pain I'm feeling please see someone before you to lose the things you love in life..