gold stars

so im awake (at 1am) and checking yahoo mail (which is not often used) and i see the responses and posts and its like a wave of relief cause the weekend was filled with its fair amount of crying (again).. for little things (again).. because the crying was so bad when i was just diagnosed and my family really took strian i try not to cry around them but this weekend i just couldnt hide it... my two year old (gorgeous) nephew wouldnt stop chatting to me and eventually announced to the world that nita was in tears (again).. and  surprisingly the guilt wa snot foremost but gratitude that my mom and brother sat with me for a while.. theres gold stars everywhere ..and im 30.. on my diary.. on my pc.. on pics.. on post its.. but its strangely comforting.. as if im winning something.. or worth something