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My husband says...

By Lazy Bunny Thursday, January 29, 2009

My husband says that no matter how hard he tries to keep me happy that I just can't be happy. I don't think I am miserable all the time. I think he blames himself for my unhappiness. I tell him I am happy when he confronts me. What do you say to someone that tells you "I don't think anything I do will make you happy?" He had mentioned this several times before I got to thinking 'maybe I should look into this.'

 

The doctor I called hasn't called me back. I don't know if I need to go to a GP or a specialist. Any ideas on who I should see?

 

I got off lexipro because I didn't want to live my life by a pill. Now I think that maybe some people might need more than the natural order of things. I just don't like the idea of being a guinea pig while the doc figures out the logistics.

Progressing...
1/29/09 1:56am

If my wife said that to me I think I'd be a little upset and maybe even offended. If I were you I'd be lookin up a marriage counselor not a gp or a specialist.

 

If you dont mind my asking,

 

Why do you think your depressed?

 

What makes you think that you fall under the classification of being depressed?

 

Pat

 

1/29/09 3:37am

I was diagnosed years ago before I met my husband. Written words don't give the tone of a sentance. His words were said meaningfully, not in anger or anything of malace. I cry a lot. More so than any human should. His words only echoed what I was kind of feeling but was denying.

1/31/09 11:08am

I have been married but I am divorced now.  I was the type of person that expected other people to make me happy....but I still wasn't.  After my divorce I started dating and I still wasn't happy.  I learned that it is not up to other people to make me happy.  I have to be happy with myself first and I wasn't.  I read an article on Each one responsible for own happiness.  There was a paragraph that said "I once heard a well known speaker say that at one of his seminars his wife was asked to speak.  She surprised the crowd by saying, My husband does not make me happy.  He cannot make me happy.  I have to decide if I will be happy or not. It's my choice regardless of what he does."  I am on an anti-depressant and realize I do need it.  I am also going to counseling which has been helping to.

Anonymous
Anonymous
2/ 1/09 5:15pm

I know exactly how your husband meant that comment. I live with my husband of 18 years, 3 beautiful girls and a lovely house. He was diagnosed with depression 4 years ago and I can't make him happy? Tablets and counselling can't either.

Depression is hell for the sufferer and even more hell for the person that loves and supports them.  We all ask why ? The only person(s) who can tell us don't want to so how can we keep supporting, smiling having good days, having very low days when does the circle stop ?

 

By Lazy Bunny— Last Modified: 12/18/10, First Published: 01/29/09