My Name is Amanda Iam 18 years old. I was born in Warren P.A I was raised between Kane P.A and Warren P.A when i was younger. My parents split up before i was even born which was very hard growing up not haveing both of my parents around I was going between mom,dad,mom,dad then my mom wouldnt let me see my father anymore and then i started to get really depressed because when i was with my father i new everyone on his side of the family including him loved me no matter what and my mother hated it cause they always did stuff for me and treated me good.Now my mother on the otherhand Physically abused me from the time i was born till the age 12.Yes my dad was an alocholic but he never once hit me out of anger he put me in time out for being bad. My mom always beat me. My dad told me not to along ago he only remembers slamming my mom against a wall once because i was just born and i cried alot like normal newborns do and she slapped me across the face as hard as she could and left a hand print on my face my dad was really angry with her he said.My mother use to come home from work and I would be comming home from headstart and i would look at my mom and say I love u mommy and i missed you today did u like work today and she say go to your room i dont wanna see your face and dont come out till i tell u to then she always came home and said wait till you dad gets here meaning my stepdad at the time and hes gonna beat your *** i said why mommy what did i do and she said i cant ****** stand you. You are a mistake and you are worthless to me and you will never be worth anything. She always told me i was ugly also then one day i wouldnt stop crying then there goes the belt across me then next mystep dad and my mother got into it an i ended up getting a loaded Gun but to my head. My lil sister and i would get into little arguments when we were little and she would beat the **** out of me with anything she grabbed a hold of and one day she hurt me really bad and i was able to get up and i hit her and not hard she got up started laughing and then ran to my mom crying saing Amanda hit me then here comes my mother iam on the ground and she is sitting on me punching me in my face and pounding my head off the sement sidewalk and then i had a concussion and i had to go to the hospitial and the only thing i remember is the doctors all around me saying keep an eye on her through the night she might not have a chance on living! Then through the night she didnt keep an eye on me thank god i made it to the next morning then she was making dinner and she tried to poison me and i caught her then i got the **** beat out of me again for saying Mommy why dont you love me my real daddy loves me and i love him.Then i said why do u hate me mommy then i chased around the house with a Knife she was trying to kill me once again!! I have had 3 concussions my head has been through many windows and i have scars on my head from her and i have scars from where she dug her nails into my skin and ect.I have been through alot living with my mom then one day my mom got a call from her mother and she said you should let Amanda see her father he misses her and he has been outta jail so he can have her. and she said ok but shes not living there. And one day i came home from school and my mom said do you wanna see your dad and i said yes and i gave her a hug and told her I loved her and she pushed me down and said you are only staying for a weakend. And we were on our way to warren and i saw my grandmas iand aunts that i havnt seen in a while and i was so happy and my dad had no clue i was in warren at the time and i went to his house and my grandmas and my aunts went in first then I walked in and my dads eyes lit up so big and and tears where about to came out and he said Amanda Jo if you wanna live with me you can youd have your own room and all and then he said lets go outside and talk and i told my dad everything i was going through with my mom and he wasnt happ at all he was very angry with her then she was off to kane and i got to spend the weekend with my dad and he gave me all the coins he had from A.A and N.A and he gave me D.A.R.E shirt he wore and a flese hoodie he let me keep and then on a sunday i had to go back with my mom and i had my dads shirts and i only got to sleep with them one night cause she took them away from me and washed them they had my dads sent on them so when I got scared or got beat i would have something to make me feel safe and that somebody loves me  So then finially one day she let me live with my dad and i had a much better life than i did have i mean my dad was in and out of jail most of the time but he was still a good father.and when i hit 15 I had alot of depression from my mom. Then my father being in jail. And i started trying to commit suicide and there were cops at my house alot because my best friend would call on me cause she was scared for me then i started to get sent to placement cause me and my father would always Argue and i wouldnt listen and he was a single father at the time trying to raise a daughter and i got sent to 5 placements because of Anger,Depression,ect I did put the ones i love through hell and i regret every bit of it they didnt put me through what my mother has.And i hope someday they forgive me but i know they'll never forget.  There is more stuff i could talk about but I'll leave it for other people to ask. Thanks alot for takeing the time to read this.

                                Sincerly

                            Amanda