My Depression

By lwhite082 Monday, September 06, 2010

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Hi, I am new to this website. I thought I would try this out since I have never done so. I have struggled with depression for more than ten years, believe it or not. I have had depression on and off through the years. There were days that I am fine and other days, I had my moments. I often wonder how people can really get over depression and the feeling of lonliness. I really do want to stop it. I have been going to therapy and taking medication, but there are times I cannot wait for the depression to stop. It is hard to have the patience for that time to come. I am waiting for my happiness to come to me. I recently broke up with a guy that I was with for almost three years. We had so many issues and problems, but we had some good times together. I realized my relationship has impacted me the most and has affected my depression. I am trying to recover fully from it now. Its hard. I am trying to be happy every day like having the sun directly focused to me every morning so I can wake up happy. I hate waking up thinking about depression. I often wonder when will I ever stop doing that. I know I have the power to change myself for the better. Many people have told me to change and stop thinking about depression or even talking about it. Its easier for them to say so because they are not in my shoes. I just want to find someone in my life and be happy with that person, but it really starts from me. I have to be happy with myself first.

Comments (4) | Add comment

Judy

9/ 7/10 9:50am

Hi, Iwhite. I'm glad you are feeling a little better. Some of us struggle with depression all our lives, off and on. I think if you are waiting for happiness to come to you, you might be disappointed. I think it can happen, but it's not a constant state of elation; I think of it more as contentment and acceptance of what life brings. When you can start moving forward with your life, trying new things, stretching yourself a bit when you can, it all starts to come together. Respecting yourself is key, as then you won't accept disrespect from others. You're in the process of trying to understand yourself better and that's all part of it. Even if you don't permanently get rid of depression, you will learn ways of managing it and have the tools to lessen its pain - and that includes reaching out for help.

Thanks for writing and sharing your experience with us. Hope to hear more from you.

LyraStorm

9/ 7/10 9:54am

Hi LWhite,

Welcome! You sound like though you are doing it tough you are doing the right things. And I like that you fight against those thoughts others are trying to put in your head of 'just don't think about it' and even 'stop talking about it' - I'm glad you found this site to talk about it because talking helps a lot!

I'm sorry about the end of your relationship. That sort of thing is tough for anyone but when you have depression to deal with too then you get hit with a double whammy. I'm glad you're still fighting and I hope you continue to share stories with us.

Merely Me, Health Guide

9/ 9/10 1:47pm

Hi there

Welcome to My Depression Connection

It is evident that you have learned so much from your experiences...your last line is especially profound. You have to be happy with yourself first. Absolutely.

I like to visualize...if you are a half empty coffee cup...you can't wait around for someone to fill you. You need to fill yourself...and enter a relationship...feeling whole. Any relationship stands a far better chance if you are feeling mentally healthy.

I would disagree with the people who are telling you not to talk about depression. I think it is essential to talk about it in order to get through it. This doesn't mean that you ruminate over depressing thoughts...it means you get active about how to handle the depression and prevent it from taking over your life.

You can always talk about things here. We all understand what a difficult process this is.

One part of this process is filling yourself up with good things...supportive people...passions...dreams...hobbies...goals.

Keep on writing...we want to hear what you have to say.

PsychMD

10/13/11 9:00pm

Hi and thanks for joining this community, which seems to have input from a good number of talented yet suffering individuals. I have been following many of these posts as a clinician since I am in private practice as a psychiatrist, but also suffer from low-grade depression and social anxiety as well. I had an exchange with someone from this forum who encouraged me to join some forums and here we go. I would not be too hard on yourself as far as relationships go, since most of us struggle with them, depressed or not. A relationship can certainy go a long way but if one is dealing with severe anxiety or mood disorders, it seems that many of us get caught up in co-dependent relationships, or often just unfulfilling ones which don't really meet our needs. It's a bit like many of my patients who have a hard time trusting me with their care; i.e. choosing medications, selecting a form of therapy, making some behavioral or other suggestions. the good news is that there are so many ways of getting better, and even the experience of working closely with another person makes a big difference for me. The tough part is that my patients don't realize that I can identify with much of their feelings since I often share them. When I am able to help someone move forward with their recovery it definitely gives me a boost. On the other hand, I am often viewed as the medication guy, so that seems to imply that patients aren't feeling connected at times. I hope you are able to locate a good therapist who will help you gain some confidence in your ability to succeed in the world. You sound like you deserve more support and fortunately there are many ways to find it in addition to having a significant other. are you having any success with treatment?

My Depression

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