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Rummination part deux

By Lulumae Thursday, August 06, 2009

I am getting delirious from insomnia.  I have an appointment tomorrow so I am very excited about that. I am shocked about how casual medical providers are about dispensing medication. I was given Celexa for severe post-partum depression. I have a huge history of P.D. and Agoraphobia but hadn't needed medication for years. I am thinking my body chemistry has recovered from the whole pregnancy breast feeding and is now is processing the drug in a new way. It has stopped working and I am having severe side effects. I went to urgent care and they took me off cold turkey and put me on trazadone. I seriously have gained 10 lbs in 3 weeks. Not such a good drug. And until I researched it, did not know it was for anxiety. They put on my discharge papers sleep aid. I had no idea I was taking another anti anxiety medication. Sigh! So now I have a list, I have checked it twice, and no I am not santa but I know everything I have been on in the past. I am now in need of something as the Celexa has put me in a manic state. The past three year of stressors rival those of most lifetimes...not to bore you but...birth of my daighter (yay) severe post-partum (boo) the death of my daughter's father, my younger sister abandoning her son and choosing drugs and alcohol in her life (big whatever) becoming the parent to the sweetest 11 yr old boy (manual anyone?!) my daughter has a seizure disorder (hopefully will outgrow it) No one but one friend is willing to watch my daughter. I have been with my daughter since her birth, every singe day of her life except for 12 hours when she went to my dad's house. Moving three times because my mom could not be around the baby when she has seizures (not complaining I get it, Heck! I don't want to be around either! :O}) Money issues due to my ex-husband not paying on his debt. (I am doing a financial re-organization Yuck!) And a former boss who is a liar (thank goodness everyone else knows he is and the impact on my professional reputation is minimal)  No wonder I am a bit nutty! I do have some great friends. I can play a little soccer if I can get a babysitter. I have this crazy busy life! How do I relcaim it and NOT let my illnesses rear their ugly heads? Or how do I minimize the impact? I am fighting tooth and nail to maintain normalacy for my daughter. I am trying so hard. Going to the grocery store is like pulling teeth...I am having a low moment! And need some words of encouragement! Shew! I obviously needed to vent too!  Lu

Merely Me, Health Guide
8/ 6/09 8:44pm

Hi Lu!

 

Man...you have been through a ton!  Yes...stressors galore!  I applaud you in all that you have survived and are still currently going through.

 

Okay out of all these things you have listed...what things are under your control...what things are not?  What would be your number one priority?  What would you most like to change right now?

 

You have a lot more strength than you know.  You are a true survivor for having handled all of this life stuff. 

 

I am so sorry that you have gone through such trouble with your medications.  It is good that you write everything down and make sure of what you are getting.  Ask questions...research the meds you take.  If we can help by giving you any information let us know.

 

I want to encourage you to keep writing here and letting us know what is going on with you.  Vent away!  That is what we are here for is to listen.

 

So glad you have joined us.  Hope to hear how things go with your appointment.

8/ 6/09 11:33pm
Hi, I just wanted to let you know I think you are a very strong person, dealing with all that you have. Just getting through each day sounds as though it takes a Herculian effort on your part. I would love to hear more, more detail I mean - what's affecting you most at the moment? What exactly would you like to change? I'm glad that you have an avenue like soccer to relax and have fun - do you get to do that often? From what you've said it sounds like it can be difficult finding a babysitter due to your daughter's seizures (poor girl, and poor you - is she on any medication or is it something that will pass. Please forgive my ignorance: I don't know much about babies and young children). Please continue coming here to vent - we want to hear what you have to say and it's always good to get things off of your chest.
By Lulumae— Last Modified: 05/16/11, First Published: 08/06/09