I don't have much time left

The last time I was on this site was on January 1, 2008.  It is now February 6, 2009.  During that lapse of time, I left my fiance and moved back home to FL.  He is still in TN where we lived together for 3 months.  I'm not going to make it much longer... I have immense amounts of guilt for leaving him.  He is a wonderful man who treated me very well.  However, I was and still am very sick.  My depression and anxiety killed our relationship.  I killed us and the guilt is eating me up.  This Sunday, February 8th marks the 1 year anniversary that I packed up my belongings and left him and our wonderful dog in TN.  I made the 800 mile trip home all by myself. This Sunday would be a perfect day to take my life. I am addicted to sadness, to guilt and to self-hate.  I torture myself with it.  Someone, please help me.  It's 9:44pm EST and I just took 3 mg of Xanax and I have about 60 more mg in my pocket.  Someone... anyone... help me.

I don't want to do it... someone please talk me out of it.