Saturday, February 07, 2009
A few kind people have commented and offered help to me in response to my post "I don't have much time left." I just want to say thank you. 
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I'm okay
Thank you everyone
2/ 7/09 9:20pm
Dear Sad Girl - I have never seen this chat room before, and you are the first person I have EVER in my life chatted with over the internet. I am writing to say DON'T DO IT!
I too am a sad girl - much older - and hopefully a little wiser 
as that old saying goings. Sunday should not be the ending for Sad Girl (perhaps the ending of sad). Sunday, February 8 is a new beginning. The sun indeed will rise tomorrow as it does every day. We never know what miracles lie in a day. I am not a "religious" person, but I do have a very deep faith in God. We are all unique - every single one of us, now and throughout history. There will NEVER be another YOU or Me. If there are never 2 people in this whole big wide world and throughout history that are not alike - then God certainly does have a very special plan - but in HIS time. Sometimes He puts us through trials and tests and seems so very far away. Trust Him. If not in your mind, let your heart trust Him. I am certain He has a very special plan for you when you are ready. Don't disappointment him. Someday, someone may desparately need YOUR help. Stick around and watch - and wait for miracles. Believe. I care. I will be watching for your answer on Monday, February 9. I will pray for you tonight.
Blessings. PS Oh, by the way, you said you don't have much time left. Yes you certainly do. Time is a gift that we are all given. Don't give that away either! 
I'll wait for your response on Monday.
2/ 7/09 9:40pm
I'm writing this with tears in my eyes because of how much I appreciate you caring this much. A complete stranger waiting to hear from me to make sure I'm okay moves me deeply. I can't thank you enough.
I'm not a religious person either, but I do have a belief that there is a god. I don't know who He is or where He is, but I hope that He stands beside me. I don't know much about Him, but I know He just spoke to me through you... like He's been speaking to me through the other kind people on this website.
I can't express how much you have helped me. Thank you so much.
Amy
2/ 8/09 3:27pm
You touched my heart as well with your words. I do believe that God speaks to us through others. He speaks to us in many ways - it is up to us to listen. I also believe that God has a great sense of humor. He shares our joy and our sadness. He is with you now. I'll keep praying for you. Today is Sunday, February 8. The sun is shining. I have more to share with you, but will wait until I hear from you tomorrow.
PS 
2/ 9/09 8:32am
2/ 9/09 10:40am
Dear Amy,
I am so happy to hear from you. You were on my mind all day yesterday. It's okay that you feel down and a little irritated. Don't forget, you are human with all sorts of emotions. Sadness and depression don't come on in an instant. It happens slowly over time, often when we don't even realize it. Healing is the same way. It too, sometimes comes slower than we want it too. Something I always have to remind myself of is that "everything worthwhile takes time, and often loneliness." In this great big world with so many millions of people all around us, we are still, each of us, alone in our world making a difference and contribution. One day and one step at a time. Someday, you will look back and smile, yes I said smile, and realize all that you have accomplished and what you have contributed to make this world a better place. You will be amazed at the people YOU have helped - even in little tiny ways.
Now to share with you one more coicidence (or what I refer to as "God Winks" though my kids always say "yeah, right mom"). After I read your story I saw that you are from Florida. Well, I am not from Florida, but visit here every year in August. By some very strange, and UN-Planned, reason, my husband decided to make a spur of the moment trip down here this week. We have NEVER done that before either! So funny thing, I'm here in Florida for the week. We are staying at Cocoa Beach this time. Maybe we are closer than either of us knows!
You sound like you are a very busy, ambitious young woman. I admire that. I am curious to know what you are studying in school. I have a gut feeling that I already know the answer, but I may be wrong. I am certain that what ever you are working for, you will succeed. Keep letting your heart trust in that Higher Power who is watching over you - even when your mind is full of confusion and uncertainty. Life unfolds its story one day at a time. One baby step at a time. Just do what you can do today. Be like Ms. Scarlett in Gone With the Wind and worry about the little things tomorrow! 
Take a good look at yourself (I mean your inner self) and observe the beauty there! You will be pleasantly surprised!
Have a Good Day! I mean that. Just for today, make it a good one! I care.
One more thing. None of us are strangers - only friends that we haven't met yet!
PS
2/ 8/09 10:30am
2/ 8/09 10:04pm
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I am so happy you reached out to others. You have given me the courage to do the same. I too have ended a major relationship in the past year and often doubt and blame myself (my depression) as the cause. Reading your words also gave me the courage to look inside myself. My relationships with friends are life long and my family is very close to me. I am successful in so many aspects of my life that maybe the relationship just wasn't right. If this be the case or not it is now in the past. I am ready to come clean with myself and admit that yes, I do suffer from depression and am ready to validate my feelings and desires as real and not just a 'side effect' of a chemical imbalance. Conversely, I am ready to grab hold of my symptoms before they grab hold of me.
Thank you again for you courage. Bet you never thought you'd help someone else!!
Blessings,
Pinky
Pinky, thank you very much for your comment. I hope you are well and that you are able to shed the doubt and blame that you carry. Guilt is the hallmark of depression and it can destroy you... please don't let it. I think of my life as this: picture a street littered with manholes. Each hole represents my depression...I can walk around them or I can fall in. Although my medication acts like a manhole cover, protecting me from falling in, I sometimes find a hole that isn't covered. When I feel like I'm about to fall into a deep depression, I picture myself walking around the hole. It's difficult, but it works. Eventually, I know my road won't have holes anymore, but for now that's what I do to make it through. I'm so glad to have helped you. Please write anytime.
Amy