I'm having some problems with my new boyfriend. To give some background: we met 11 years ago at work.... recently reconnected in February and rekindled a friendship and then started moving beyond friendship the middle of April ( all of this year ). Is there anyone out there who can give professional advice on relationships?.... how to compromise and when to know enough is enough.
Thank you very much!
~sadgirl
This is something that everyone struggles with in any relationship. Compromise is always necessary when two individuals try to meld their lives together. The thing about compromise though, is that is takes two people. You should not be changing thing to fit around him. It should go both ways. I cannot tell from your post what the specific problems are, but the only way to approach it is to discuss it with him. See if you cannot find a comfortable middle ground. If he truly cares for you, he will be willing to make some concessions. If not, it does not bode well for the relationship, he is either too stubborn to make it work or he is looking for a way out.
Also, though compromise is great, there should be limits. No one has the right to change "who you are". I am talking about the core of what makes you YOU: your principles, your values, and your basic personality. He went into the relationship knowing you and he should love you and respect you no matter what. No one should ever mold themselves to fit what another person thinks they should be. You may not be perfect but neither is he.
As for how to decide when enough is enough, that can differ from person to person. However if you feel threatened or disrespected in any way, call it off. No relationship is perfect but everyone has a right to feel safe, loved and respected despite any problems. If both partners truly love and respect one another there is no problem you can't overcome.
Hope this helps a bit. If you can be more specific about your issues maybe we can give you better advice. Hang in there. Relationships are tough. I am going through a tough time right now and to tell the truth I am glad I am not in a relationship. However, it is valuable to have someone there for support, but only if it is positive support.
Thank you for the response. The problems have a sexual nature.... can you email me at blackbriar@live.com?
Thank you for your time,
Amy
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Hello, I have some advice I would like to share with you. Would you like me to post it here or to send a message to your account? I am very skilled in the area of relationships and there are a lot of misconceptions women have. Bascially, if he is not marrying you by now, he doesn't really like you. WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE! Please send me a message back! Good things come to those who wait (and when you least expect them)
Hi, please respond back to blackbriar@live.com and I can go in more detail. I'd rather not post a sensitive subject like this online.
Thank you so much!