Addicted to sadness

Sadgirl, I know how you feel, really I do. Let me tell you a short story.  I am about 5 feet tall for years I weighed about 220 pounds.  Now I was a short fat rolly polly little black girl, but I was cute, not happy, but I was short and fat.  I ate because that was my comfort zone, just as being sad is your comfort zone, eating and being fat was mine, I felt protected being that way, so do you see where I am going?  Now I am not a doctor by no means of the word, but I see me in you.  I finally had to step out of my comfort zone, scared me to death, and still today, I am still trying to work through my issues.  I now weigh 145, bu you know, take yesterday, I went to the mall bought a skirt a size 14 did not try it on, hate trying on clothes, got it home, tried it on two people could wear that skirt, so now I got to take it back because of my laziness, I need a size 10, but I still see myself as a big girl.  I understand where you are coming from.  But Sadgirl, you have to take that first step, and we are here to take it with you.  I hope that I have helped.  sherry/smomdukes

Hi, Sadgirl.  I understand what you're talking about and I'm wondering if, rather than being addicted to sadness, that it's a matter of believing that you DESERVE to be sad, or should be sad, or that sadness is your most familiar feeling.  I think that's what's happened to me.  What do you fear if you don't have the sadness?  Sometimes, I think it may be that we're sad for so long, it's become our identity.  If we lose that, then what are we?  Or maybe it means we have to take on more responsibility because if we're no longer sad, people will expect more out of us.

Don't know if that makes sense at all, but hope it helps a little.

Yeah...I can definitely understand sadness becoming a pattern...it is comfy at the bottom of the well...you don't have to do anything.  You don't have anywhere to fall and you don't have to work to get better.  You can just sit...and sit...and be sad.  I think we have all been in that place. 

What sometimes works for me is a provocation to feel anger...because that is what is beneath it all.  You do want things.  You do want to be happy.  But life has been unfair.  So why should you have to work so hard...just to feel okay?  But you do.  Sometimes it takes the little "oomph" of that first step to get you going.

The world will not give you happiness...you have to find it yourself.  And that means ditching the sadness.  It means risking.  It means...the potential for loss. 

You could stay in the sadness or you can get up and...do something different. 

Find yourself a little bit of happiness...that is probably all you can stand at first.  Just a little...

You deserve it.