Merry Christmas to all!!
I pray that the true spirit of Christmas fills your soul this day and everyday.
I have been a bit depressed. I haven't felt like doing much of anything. I do things so I don't slip into a deeper, dark place. Just going through the motions is keeping me above the water. I can't tell my wife what's bothering me. I love her dearly but cannot burden her with my stuff. She sees that I am not right yet won't pursue to see what's going on. So I am alone. Rereading that makes me cry.
I've been busy (despite the fact I feel like doing nothing) trying to keep from dealing with the issues at hand. I have done a lot of volunteering this season. I have put myself out there to help those in need. I feel its best to be in the service of others...even when I am feeling blue.
Cut to the chase....Monday the 26th is the one year anniversary of my younger brother's death. It hadn't really hit me until today. That's what is going on. I am sad that my family still hasn't shown any remorse or support in all this. They are a hard-hearted people, hellbent on themselves. It's sad to see them so mean and rotten. I wonder, am I grieving Michael's loss or the loss of the others who have abandoned me since his death? Probably both. Tomorrow I will grieve then I will be okay.
On a lighter side, I have a part in the Christmas program at church. I am looking forward to that. I will be taking three people to church.
I am okay...just needed a safe place to get out what needed to get out. This too shall pass.
Have a blessed day.
David
Hi, David - it looks like nobody's been around today. This is my first free moment today and I was sorry to hear that it's been a difficult day. It certainly is understandable, though, that you would be grieving all of these losses. Maybe you felt like doing nothing today because you needed a break. It's wonderful that you do so much for others, but you have to remember to nourish yourself, as well. I know what it's like to not be able to share your pain with your spouse because you don't want to burden her. Maybe you could talk with her later, if it seems like the right time. She might be relieved to hear you say it out loud, rather than just wondering how you're doing and being afraid to ask.
I hope you ended up having a good Christmas and I wish you a happy new year!