My daughter is 18 and graduating high school. She has recently had some problems with her high school friends, and I know that she feels like no one cares about her.
The reason this is upsetting is that my daughter has had problems keeping friends since she started grammar school.
All through grammar school she was pretty much shunned by the other kids. I spoke to the teachers, and they always said she was a nice girl yada, yada, yada.
I remember when she came home at the end of third grade with a big posterboard portfolio of her year's work. The kids went around and signed each others portfolio. She had only one signature from a kid and a few from some teachers. She started to cry. She said that she went and signed everyone's portfolio, but no one wanted to sign hers.
I could go on and on with sad stories like this. I am heartbroken that my daughter has suffered so much.
She is a pretty girl, smart, she plays classical guitar and wants to be friends with people. She read books about making friends and did all the right things, i.e. joined clubs, played in sports, called people, went out when invited, to no avail.
Making friends didn't seem like a problem at the start of junior high, but she couldn't maintain them. She cried in 8th grade because she had made two friends who she was really happy with only to have them begin to shun her and not want to hang out with her. She was devastated.
After years of being rejected, she has learned not cling to people or be overly compliant. When she was a sophmore in high school, she transferred to an Arts Academy. Well, for two years it was great. She finally met some kids who she seemed to relate to. She didn't have a lot of friends but a few. She even had a boyfriend for a while. (She broke up with him) but it seems that over the past two months her friends are giving her a cold shoulder. Even her closest friend. She deleted her face book page because she said she was driving herself crazy wondering why people wouldn't respond to her.
She has been in therapy. She sees a counselor now, but doesn't feel that it is helping. She is depressed and has been diagnosed as having distymia. She was prescribed Welbutrin. However, this doesn't seem to help her depression.
I am so sad that I haven't been able to help my daughter. Now that she is on the verge of adulthood, I see that she still has the same problems. I don't know if it is something I did. My son who is 16 also has no friends, but he doesn't seem to care at all. I sent him to a counselor, and he said my son seems very happy.
What can I do? I talk to people and NO ONE seems to be able to relate to my story. I am lucky that my girl doesn't do drugs, she is ambitious, she is very sensible. She is just so sad.
Published On: May 08, 2008