My journey through hell

By cpate Monday, January 07, 2008

- A
- A
- A

I don't really know where to start, I have been through depression in and out of it's clinches for atleast 45 years. I have had lots of different therapys and have tried almost every antidepressant that's come out. I suffer in silence most of the time. I know every year this time I always seem to enter into the darker side. I don't know if it's holiday related, or just not getting enough sunlight. I try so hard to fight it off but it's like the harder I try the more depressed I get. I am now taking Prozac, Wellbutrin and Chantix along with high dosage of neurontin and so many other meds that it's too long of a list to even get into. I have fibromyalgia, heart disease and thyroid disorder. I truly believe with all my heart that depression brought on most of these symtoms or illnesses rather. I was an inteligent indiv. at one time but I've been robed of that as well, somedays I can't remember if I have already eaten a meal or not. I try to find something positive everyday, it's not bad having an extra meal once in awhile. I have to laugh to keep from crying. I pray one day we all who suffer in silence will have the courage to come forward and ask for more help. If stars can do it, why can't we. Have a wonderful day even if you are feeling blue, look outside, look inside and see that you are really alive.

No more Effexor

Comments (6) | Add comment

Rusty

1/ 7/08 7:36pm

Hi, you have been though a lot but you sound like you have developed some great strategies to help you to get through the dark times. Sunlight is really important. Have you tried a "light box" full spectrum lighting.( I think they are available on the net. I live in Australia so we have Summer at the moment. Its beautiful the sun is shining and the sky is so blue. I wish I could bottle up some sunshine and send it to you. I am lucky that my depression is undercontrol and I have found something that works. Don't give up. There are medicines that haven't even been invented yet. There are some good articles about the advances in psychiatry on www.mcmanweb.com. We who have depression have genes with little alleles which makes us more sensitive to all stresses as opposed to others with long alleles. Those are the little monsters responsible...but there are things you can do. Have a look at www.facingus.com for some wellness tools. Best wishes. There is support here. Rusty

Carolyn

1/ 8/08 10:55am

Hi, Thanks for the info on the light box, anything is worth a try. I did pull up the webpage you sent me and it does have great information. I probably spent 2 hrs on their which is very unusal for me. Glad to hear the sun is shinning your way. Thanks for the kind words. Hang in there and have a wonderful day.

Mia

1/ 9/08 9:51am

You sure are taking a whole lot of drugs. Those combinations just don't sound too good. I am on wellbutrin, requip (for RLS) and Adderall (for ADD) and about to start Chantix again. How is the Chantix working or you? How long have you been taking it?

patty

1/12/08 3:23am

Cpate,

Keep a close eye on your thryoid medications to make sure the dosage is the right amount for you,if your not sure, ask for a second opinion.Your doctor will know by your bloodwork.

years ago I asked for help with depression , only to develope symptoms of fybromalyasia after being on prozac for awhile.

After some research, I chose to wean myself off of the prozac , and onto St Johns wort.

You are on an awfull lot of meds ...I would seriously consider having someone check out if you really need to be on all of them.

I only started to feel better when I choose to wean myelf off of the majority of medications the doctor had me on , that I didnt need., and I had lost 60 pounds to boot, since then.

I was not able to loose anythig while on these medicines.

The thryoid meds I will always have to take and thats ok , but depression meds ??? I seriously have my doubts on them.

Remember, the more medicines we are on the more screwed up we can be from them , and I mean that literally.

Please read over the pamphlets you get form the pharmacy on each medication you are on .....Its cautions, etc., and start putting 2 and 2 together.

I hope this was some help to you .

cpate

1/12/08 10:29am

I realize I'm on too many meds but Dr.doesn't seem to see this as an issue. They keep telling me the benefits out weigh the risk, famous last words right. I forgot to add one of the meds when I listed all of them, Liptor 40 mg. I know I need the toprail , lipitor, nexium,synthroid,

premerin but maybe I could wean off of the wellbutrin, prozac, neurontin,tamarol and chantix. I also have muscel relaxers to help with the fibromyalgia from time to time. I'm on a cpap also so at times I have to take benedryl at bedtime to be able to sleep. I know , I'm a wreck, I have to let some of this stuff go. All these meds are depressing me just wondering what they are doing to my body. I have a physical on the 23rd and I plan on stating my case, they may just think I'm a mental case and dismiss it all but I do honestly want off of some of these drugs. One morning I want to wake up and not have a hand full of pills to swallow. Thanks for giving me the oportunity to vent.

Andy

11/ 1/10 1:21am

I know what you are going through. I spent the last 2 years in the same condition as you. I am FINALLY starting to come out of it. Thank God.

Please believe that I've been where you are and know what it's like. I can only offer the advice that has worked for me.

1. DON'T GIVE UP

Many time I was tempted, and in some ways I did, but you have to believe that there is HOPE. ( even if you can't see it )

2. DON'T ISOLATE YOURSELF. I know this is not easy, I spent a year on my couch not being able to get out of bed, or leave the house. Do your best to surround yourself with people that care about you. You may need to confide to a close friend what is troubling you, but don't repeat it over and over, not in your mind, or to your friends. Find anything else to think about and focus on besides your problems.

3. STOP NEGATIVE THINKING:You have to break the cycle of negative thinking ( which may seem impossible to you now, But YOU CAN! ) I don't know if they allow links in comments but this is a good place to start. http://zerotolerancetonegativethinking.com/

For weeks I spent hours in a row reading this material just to get to the point

where I could leave the house without a panic attack.

4. FIND A COUNCELOR who has spirtual perspective and if possible also uses (CES) Cranial ElectroTherapy Stimulation. I have a device called Alpha-Stim.

Google it to find out more. This was a real turning point for me, when nothing else worked.

5. EXERCISE: It will be hard to start but it WILL make you feel beter. Excercise releases neurotransmitters naturally in the brain. These neurotransmitters help to promote neurogenesis, ( the process of creating new brain cells ) in the hippocampus. ( The part of the brain most likely damaged by Cortisol, which is released by the body in reation to stress. It actually can damage cells in the hipposcampus )

6. FIND A SUPPORT GROUP: For me this was a Christian men's group. ( Not a bunch of phonies, but genuine Christians who will support you, and accept you the way you are.

7. Prayer and Meditation can calm you mind and help you heal.

8. EAT NUTRITIONAL MEALS. I was eating junky doughnuts for breakfast, skippin lunch, and only eating dinner.

9. RESEARCH SUPPLEMENTS FOR DEPRESSION:Don't take the supplement sellers word as fact. Look for solid scientific studies that show the supplement is useful. http://clinicaltrials.gov/ is one good site. Be sure to check for interactions with the drugs you are taking and check with you doctor before you do. I found SAMe to be helpful, but I also found a study that showed it's effectiveness with Effexor which I'm on befor taking it. Be careful with supplements. Don't over due them. I went a little overboard and am risking damage to my kidneys so be careful.

10.WITH YOUR DOCTOR'S HELP START WEANING OFF Anti depressants. This has to be done slowly because most antidepressants have serious withdrawal symptoms. If your doctor tells you to go off them "cold turkey" FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR who is educated about withdrawal. There are many forums with people trying to get antidepressants. This can probably not be done before you do steps 1-9.

I hope this helps. God Bless and I'll be praying for you.

My journey through hell

Ask a Question