There was another sharepost that Merely Me posted that made me think about what I'm going through now. I'm going to counseling. The place I'm going to sent me a brochure and in it is a phone number for help with training, employment and keeping it. I called and was given another number which I called.  They returned my phone call just now and I was told I have to be a part of VESID in order for them to help me.. I told them that I tried applying for VESID and was told it would take up to a year for anyone to see me,  help me with getting a job. It really upset me because it seems everywhere I turn I don't get any help as far as getting ahead - meaning a job- which will help me get a car- which will help me get a better place to live.  I don't have a car, so how do I get to a job?? There are no buses where I live and I don't have money for a taxi and I don't have anyone I can carport with. To get to counseling I have to ask my sister or boyfriends parents or lastly boyfriend to take off work just to take me..  Thinking of this and then thinking of the phone call about having to have VESID, then I start to think about my life and that it's a nightmare, such a struggle to make things better. It gets so overwhelming. Why? My stupid choices like my sister said.. I know getting to counseling is a step in the right direction, but getting there is hard. I need a job my unemployment is going to run out and with everything being so overwhelming I haven't been able to look/apply for jobs. I've been thinking about going on disability, but I know working would be better for me to be around other people. But then I don't know sometimes.