I am sinking again lately. I can feel it happening. Today is not good. I am trying to find help in terms of meetings but they are hard to find and it is frustrating to look for help and not find it. It is hard enough for me to even look for it as I really don't care enough about myself to do it and then when i do I seem to just run into walls. I live with my family since I came back from San Francisco and when I am around them I have to act like all is ok or I will not be able to stay here anymore. Performing that act constantly is getting harder and harder. I am sure this will not help either but at least typing out my emotions may help a little. Better than doing nothing right?
MR
Have you tried going for walks or something? Helps me when I get the sinking too. I feel like that at the moment but I'm also getting tired of the up/down pattern too. Done therapy. Done the meds. Long term they help somewhat but when I was happiest I was doing Body Balance and dance classes regularly (switch for any type of exercise that suits you). Or meditation classes?
Seriously if you can, just ignore the voice that tells you you're not worth it and just go for a walk to a park or near the sea. Water is calming. Nature is calming. Isn't there a beautiful area near the SF bridge overlooking the bay?
xx