barely hangin on.........

Hi there,

I would like to help if I can but I can just try if you let me help you. Just do not consider me as someone who is going to tell you what to do and to judge you. I am not and do not want to be that person. I just think that if we talk over things you and I working together may be able to help your depression a bit so that that strong hold that it has on you is minimised.

Please do not swear because swearing intimidates people and it is part of anti social behavior. If you swear most people usually run the other way and this works against you when you are alone and you need someone.

I do not know what has happened with your girlfriend. If she has left you you probably feel worthless like she has given up on you because you are not worthy of her or there may be some other reason. Could you tell us more about the relationship?

I am only trying to help but you must help yourself as well. I have had women leave me before and it does not feel very good. It is terrible. But it is not the end of the world as it appears. Sometimes we have to be alone to learn lessons in life so that we grow. Life is still beautiful and holds many adventures for you if you only give it a chance. There are billions of people out there and lots of nice women to meed and friends to make so what do you say? Let's try together to see if we can make a difference. Life is short man and we are only given one chance. Let's not waste it. It all seems hopeless now but I can assure you that it is not. Things can still work out for you.

So I wait till you tell me more and also think of all the good and bad things that have happened to you. There must be some good thing in your life. Tell me about these to. Everyone has something good that has happened to them. However small or insignificant there must be something that has made you feel good in the past or present.

I am here to listen not to judge you not to tell you wat to do. After I have listened I will give you some suggestion about what has helped me and if you want you can try it otherwise I will leave you alone if I am annoying you.

OK? Alfredo

Hey there...

You are not alone...there are people here who have been through similar things.  And it is very hard.  You are grieving.  It hurts.  There is no easy remedy other than to know that this will pass in time.  You will see this place you are with different eyes...in time.

As hard as it may be to believe...you will love again.  All that love doesn't go away...it is still in you. 

I think you should be with people now if you can...get up and do something...get out of the house.  The more you sit and dwell...the more pain you cause yourself.

You are going to get through this. 

Please keep writing to let us know how you are doing. 

Hi,

Sorry to hear things suck so bad at the moment. May I ask how long it has been since you and your girlfriend broke up?

I shouldn't worry about the crying - it is much better to get things out then have them bottled up inside: that way you feel you might just explode. And I don't mind the swearing: it's an expression of all of that pent up... well there's no real word for it, is there? It's just so much shit and it comes out with this pain and force, which is why it is perfectly natural to swear. I hope it helped to get at least some of it out on the page.

It's good to hear you have friends who are trying to support you - try to go out with them and keep getting on with life, but do allow yourself to wallow sometimes and cry like you have just described - both are good for you as long as you don't deny either! That's my opinion anyway.

Please share a little more of your story. Tell us about what is bugging you. Is it just the loss of this girl? What was your relationship like? How long ago did you break up? Why? Maybe if you get some more off your chest it will help... worth a try, right? We're all listening.

it is hard to weather the storms, i know i have been there!  the storm doesn't seem like it will pass...it will so just ride it out and hold on to what you know and who you are.

Hi, have you ever heard the song "Hold on for one more day" I know it sounds trite because you're in so much pain but just keep telling yourself hold on.  I don't know how old you are but I'm 50 and it is true that what seems devastating now can be a blessing later.  I'm so glad my boyfriend dumped me when I was 22.  I went into deep depression (hitting myself,  all the things you thoght you'd never do) but now I see what a favor he did me!  The thing is now to allow yourself your pain ( crying good) then take small steps to move out.  Help someone else in a small way can make yourself feel way good.  Good job listening to music.  Hope I'm not being too trite but know people care and keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Join a group!  Wish you the best.

i dated a girl for 4 years..it was my first real relationship,,i was never good with the ladies because of the fact that im really shy..things were pretty good ,we moved in together after 6 months and lived together for three years..i loved her alot but i hadn't really experienced a whole lot of dating ...i started to get a bit depressed because i knew we wern't goin to last because she wanted kids and marriage too right..so one day i came home from work and she came down on me like a ton of bricks..next day started movin out...............that was it...i wanted to try and make it work....but it wass over.so after that i was pretty bummed out for a few months ...but i started to go out to the bars,,didnt have anyluck with the ladies cause i drank too much to supress the pain .....she got engaged 7 months later,met this guy 2 months after we broke up.that hurt alot man..i was angry that she moved on so fast.......so i lived on my own for  a year...i was really lonely,my brother needed a place to stay so he moved in...things were good for a few months...then i got pretty depressed,my job sucked, i was depressed at work.....me and my bro dont get along very well,,were to the point where we avoid eachother and we barely even speak....i think thats a huge part of my problem,livin with someone and not being able to confide in them....so this depression has built into this monster and im just faced with some of the biggest decisions of my life.....im 27 years old,it's time to get my shit together,i gotta either find a job that pays good and stick with it or go to school and invest my time into a skilled trade or somewthing similiar.....it's so hard to make these decisions when you are as depressed as i am....my mind cant seem to focus on the things that are most important,,i dwell on my failures and i worry alot about my future...i am also dealing with some sort of speech impairment right now which seriously affect my  life..but i cant afford to get anysort of therapy for it,,it seems to have gotten worse since my depression..how can you tackle these problems in  your life when your communication skills are as poor as mine are??  thanx for listening i appreciate your comments and advice.....