It's kind of been a while since I posted on here. Does anyone remember me? (Naw, I didn't think so. LOL.) Last time I posted I still had a little hope. Now I have none.
I got up every day hoping that I'd be better. Things have only gotten worse. I have literally NO confidence and no personality at all. I used to want to see doctors. Now all I want is pity. No one seems to feel bad for me. They say that I have to get used to it, that people have to get through rough patches. I'm not saying that they're wrong, but if I could get through every stupid "rough patch" that has every come my way, why would I be in this situation?
The worst thing is that I am living inbetween hell and glory. I don't know when I will laugh again, or I will cry again. I have to live knowing that every day could be the worst or the best. It drives me INSANE. Hell or glory. I don't want anything inbetween.
I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself, but I have no idea what else I'm supposed to do. Cutting myself seems like a pretty good option...but I'm not sure what else to do.
Why am I writing this, anyway? For pity? For sympathy? God, I can't do anything without questioning the saneness of what I do. Errrgghhh.
Allyce, since your parents don't seem to take you seriously, is there a counselor or teacher at school you could talk to about the cutting and about wanting help? I think if you could get some kind of intervention from a person from school, they might be inclined to listen a little more. It's hard at your age to have the wherewithall to do what you need to by yourself, but I would guess that if you talked to somebody at school, they could get you the help you need.
Can you see that as a possibility? You don't have to cut yourself to get attention, but I can see where you might think that's all you can do. I hope you'll consider my suggestion and let me know what you think.