Girlfriend and first year of college

I am not sure what to do although I have my ideas.  My husband always makes me feel about two inches tall so even when he was begging for my input I could not provide it.  He wanted to talk about our sons school and girlfriend.  However he always turns around whatever I say and while asking the question he also has a way of putting me down.  

Heres the deal.  My son and his girlfriend, Maria, are seniors this year.  They have been dating for almost two years and will be going to separate schools next year.  Our family is somewhat dysfunctional while her family has every appearance of being normal.  I think I could have a mostly normal family if it wasnt for my husband.  

Maria has never been to our house.  Not by choice, but lets just say my husband has positioned things that way.  My husband has never met Maria in these two years yet he does not like her.  My husband does not work much and does not leave the house often at all.  I work a very full day.  Maria is a very nice girl but she takes antidepressants.  My son and I dont mind but my husband thinks this is going to ruin his life.  

Next year my son is going to a very small school.  The only thing my husband can think of is that he is not going to meet anyone so he is going to marry Maria and have a horrible life.  He blames me and his coach for picking this small school as was very apparent last night.  I could not answer his questions (more like an inquisition) as I knew no matter what I could possibly say my words would be twisted around as they always are.   

I know he is generally upset about all of this and I really feel for what he believes but I cant let him mess with me anymore than he already has although I genuinely feel horrible for how he feels.  I feel so cold hearted.    I guess he wants me to agree that Maria and our son should break up but I dont think thats our place to say that.

I dont know if Maria is the best person for my son.  Honestly who ever knows that until after youve been married for forty years?  She is a very nice girl from a very nice family but I think they should both meet other people while they are away at school.  They were both very young when they started dating.  I know this is also my husbands concern but I dont think right now is the time to start rocking the boat.  Right now it is HS prom time and then graduation.  In my opinion there is still too much HS stuff going on to even talk to him about any of this.  

I'd prefer to have the talk with my son right before he starts college.  To let him enjoy what little summer he will have.  I wouldnt talk to him specifically about Maria although I would ask him general think questions some of which would be about the way he is treated.  My senses tell me there may be something there but he may never say anything.  It might not even be big.  I know he will listen to me and absorb what I say.  He may not hear what I say in the beginning but may later on.  Dont get me wrong, Ive talked to him about some things along the way and he has always assured me that things are good.  I plan a different approach before school starts and to get him to think more.  He is a real thinker and a really good kid who would want to help where he could.  I know how scared I am about so many college things for him right now I can only imagine how he feels unless he is just ignorant about it which isnt all that bad either.  I know he doesnt need girlfriend issues, good or bad, on top of starting his first year of college.