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Showing Understanding During Depression

By Jerry Kennard, Health Pro Tuesday, February 07, 2012
One of the first steps in giving support to someone with depression is to ensure they receive professional help. This is a big step and one that will almost certainly help the person towards recovery. There is no quick fix for depression however, so the emotional and practical support offered by rela...
Compassionate Talk to Aid Depression Recovery
Anonymous
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2/ 7/12 11:09am

thanks for posting this

Jerry Kennard, Health Pro
2/ 7/12 11:14am

Thanks. I'm pleased you found it useful.

2/ 7/12 1:43pm

     Thank you for writing this article!   This outlines a lot of the incorrect things that my partner used and trys to force on me when I am in my depressive funk.  I am going to have my partner read your post and hope, for the sake of our relationship, that some of it sinks in or at lease maybe it will open up the conversation between us on this topic.  Thanks again.  Very helpful tool.

Jerry Kennard, Health Pro
2/ 7/12 3:54pm
In my experience a lot of people try their best to help, but this can come out in ways that don't. It's not really surprising. Knowledge of depression isn't that good even in people who suffer with it. When I've been involved in talking to relatives they generally work hard to take the information on board although getting under preconceptions about the nature of depression can sometimes be difficult. Anyway, I'm pleased you found the post helpful.
2/ 8/12 12:14pm

     My primary issue with my partner is anger and agression.  The only way to motivate me to not be depressed is with pressure/yelling/motivating?  I don't understand this rational at all and it only makes things worse.

Jerry Kennard, Health Pro
2/ 8/12 12:22pm
Can't be easy for you. This type of reaction generally suggests the person finds such situations stressful and wants their partner well (back in role). It's also a feature of lack of understanding and the assumption that depression isn't really an illness and the person has control over their emotions. There is, unfortunately, a level of frustration sharing the same space as someone who is depressed. Many people find it too hard and their threshold of tolerance is low. All sorts of reasons for this (including depression).
2/ 9/12 10:52am

Hi Jerry,

 

thanks for the article.  Yes, I find sometimes that one of the best things for me when I feel depressed ....is to first....be around people....isolation makes it worse....then, stay somewhat active since for me activity is key. Even if it means just doing some art work.

 

And like you say, silence is also so helpful since my mind has so much going on...and it takes some time in silence to have it work things out...So for my boyfriend to be with me or a friend and we are doing something so I get active...but they do not require talking....that is a gift...plus, if I know they understand that yes, I feel depressed, and they show sensitivity and gentleness and understanding... and we both know this too shall pass....

Jerry Kennard, Health Pro
2/ 9/12 11:38am
Hi Marishka, It sounds as though you have some thoughtful and sensitive people around you. Your own experience of depressions seems like you are able to retain some level of social contact and then your mood lifts? Fortunately this isn't the most debilitating of depressions but it can certainly make you feel bad enough. Having people that can appreciate at some level what you might be experiencing is very important. Thanks for taking time to share your experiences. Jerry
2/ 9/12 10:54am

Depression appears to heighten emotions associated with any perceived rejection, withdrawal of love, or appreciation of personal worth.

 

So true....any extra gestures to show love and understanding, express I am here with you and will be,  and appreciation of personal worth help a lot

By Jerry Kennard, Health Pro— Last Modified: 02/09/12, First Published: 02/07/12