I think that all we need for our happiness is peaceful surroundings. Before I lived in the city I don't remember wanting to die every day. I lived in very peaceful natural surroundings. And oddly enough it was never boring. Out there in the forested land of shelton I was surrounded by nature. I could watch the deer eat the apples from the trees in my backyard, go for a walk in the woods without stepping on glass and rusty nails and have a bonfire in the front yard. The amount of freedom was truly the american dream. I used to be so happy ALL the time.

But here in the city I can't find much peace. My stars at night are gone. I'm surrounded by loud people every day and in the case of summer a lot of the night. The air here can sometimes make me sick. And the people are so rude that I just avoid them at every chance I get. I've been acosted by drunk neighbors in the middle of the street. I've had immediate neighbors complain about me parking in front of my own damn house. People here give me dirty looks when I walk my dog, too.

They're all miserable, angry, self-involved, narcisistic busybodies and I gotta be honest I truly hate people now. I see them all in the same light I categorize them like tools. "this one's a drunken idiot, that one is a troublemaker, and that one over there is a violent drug addict"

I just want to throw my zoloft into a fire and go back but unfortunately these same people run the entire job market so I'm kinda stuck until I win the lottery.

Long story short, I truly believe we are most at peace and happiest in peaceful and happy surroundings. I can barely function in my current surroundings.