Confidence: a few people brim over with it but others struggle. How do you know you're lacking in confidence? First, you’re a bit of a negative thinker and you’re always comparing yourself to other people, many of whom seem ‘better’ than you. Secondly, you don’t feel comfortable in social situations or possibly even relationships. Thirdly, you talk yourself down from having high aspirations. You’re uncomfortable approaching new situations and you don’t take advantage of opportunities if they come your way.
One thing should be clear already and that is confidence is a state of mind. Many of the things I’ve written about in terms of how to become an optimist are relevant here. It’s important to acknowledge and then learn to identify the kind of negative thoughts you use in relation to those situations you feel uncomfortable about. Having started the process it’s necessary to flip these thoughts on their head so that things like, “I can’t do that,” become thoughts like, “I’d like to try that.”
While you’re getting used to challenging these thoughts you can be doing other things as part of your upgrade. You’ll start to feel good if you look good. So check yourself over – everything from hair to toenails and then put on some nice clothes.
If you don’t already do so, show some respect to your body. Put away the junk food, the sugary drinks and deserts and focus on a healthy diet. Put good food on the plate in a way that looks nice and appealing. Respect your body by toning up. If 30 minutes a day is too much in one go, just break it down into sections of say 10 minutes.
Manage your behavior so it suits and benefits you rather than others. Alright, this isn’t always possible or practical but plenty of situations exist that will allow you to shift your attention away from negative vibes to something more positive. Knock backs are a fact of life and learning to accept and manage these is important. As one door closes another opens so for every disappointment there are more opportunities, if you look for them.
Be kind to yourself. Why should someone else’s view of you be more important than your own? That internal chatter you generate and listen to in your head is all part of the problem. Try to look at what you’re saying to yourself from a different angle. It can be helpful to imagine yourself giving advice to another person who’s saying what you’re thinking. What would you say to them and what advice would you give?
Every journey starts with a single step. In upgrading your self confidence you’ll need to set yourself small challenges to begin with. These will be the foundation upon which you’ll build. There will always be moments of self-doubt and insecurity as there are in everyone’s lives but accepting these is all a part of confidence building. Belief in yourself may not come easily to you but it’s a worthy goal and one that is attainable with time and practice.