taking care of yourself

Why Mindsets Matter

Jerry Kennard Health Pro February 18, 2013
  • There’s a saying that goes, “to be broke can be temporary but with a poor mindset it is eternal.” At one level it’s one of those glass half full or empty issues: pessimism versus optimism. The idea that we have a something called a mindset is simple and intuitive. It neatly co...

8 Comments
  • Crystal
    Feb. 18, 2013
    Hi Jerry, I have a fixed mindset and your description at the end of your post fit me to a T. I can understand why a person with a fixed mindset could suffer from depression and anxiety, I most certainly do. I am a perfectionist, wonder if theirs a correlation. For me their are certain aspects of me that are embedded within me and those need to be fixed but...
    RHMLucky777
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    Hi Jerry, I have a fixed mindset and your description at the end of your post fit me to a T. I can understand why a person with a fixed mindset could suffer from depression and anxiety, I most certainly do. I am a perfectionist, wonder if theirs a correlation. For me their are certain aspects of me that are embedded within me and those need to be fixed but I can't for the life of me figure out how that is possible to change. Therapy certainly did not work in this area and I've spent years on and off in therapy. I tend to believe some things just can't be changed about the core person you have been your whole life. Just my thoughts, Crystal
    • Jerry Kennard
      Health Pro
      Feb. 19, 2013

      Hi Crystal,

       

      Well, you seem to have a good insight into your situation so I wonder if you might be a bit more open to change than you think. You also identify the big issue in therapy and that is working with core beliefs. These can be quite rigid and stubborn and when it comes to therapy, certain of these beliefs become massive hurdles and seem impossible...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hi Crystal,

       

      Well, you seem to have a good insight into your situation so I wonder if you might be a bit more open to change than you think. You also identify the big issue in therapy and that is working with core beliefs. These can be quite rigid and stubborn and when it comes to therapy, certain of these beliefs become massive hurdles and seem impossible to jump. It can give rise to another belief that this is your nature - fixed and bolted into the concrete!

       

      It's true that certain kinds of therapy aren't as effective for some people and there may be any number of reasons for this. Lack of progress (if I can call it this) may be down to some very simple things and it can be worth going right back to basics. So if I ask the question, what is it you want from therapy? Can you answer easily and has it changed from when you started. Maybe the goals being set are just too big or complex to achieve - or maybe there's a reason you aren't achieving them or not sustaining the momentum? All points for personal reflection, but I must say I think there's potential for change in most people if only we can identify the motivators or the blocks to change.

    • Crystal
      Feb. 19, 2013
      You bring up some very good points. Maybe my goal is set too high. My experiences with Therapy have changed based on whatever was going on in my life at the time. I have had only one good Therapist out of several and she passed away. Most of all what I wanted out of Therapy is to feel worthy, feel better about myself. Growing up I felt that I just wasn't good...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      You bring up some very good points. Maybe my goal is set too high. My experiences with Therapy have changed based on whatever was going on in my life at the time. I have had only one good Therapist out of several and she passed away. Most of all what I wanted out of Therapy is to feel worthy, feel better about myself. Growing up I felt that I just wasn't good enough in the eyes of my parents and that has carried me thru into adulthood. I would also like to have confidence in myself. I am very afraid of failure so I don't try new things such as a hobby for example because I know it won't be good enough, has to be perfect. If I don't try something (which I have in my younger years and was not good enough) than I am not setting myself up for failure. I guess for me it is a protection mode. Obviously not a good one. I am aware of all my faults and I think this interfers with my ability to change. How does one obtain or find a good self esteem when it has been low their whole life? Hard question. The older I have gotten, the more aware I am about myself, the worse I feel. Acknowledging and telling my self how on earth is this possible, to get a high self esteem and to really feel worthy. There have been times in the very past when I felt on top of the world and didn't have this issue but those times were manic times. My manics/hypomanics are no longer high, they are very low (anger, etc). My having Bipolar, rapid cycling, mixed states and depression, I think has interfered with my situation along with the many trial and error meds that have had negative effects, no effect or numbing affects. Having Anhedonia doesn't help matters either. So I am a hard nut to crack. If only I had an unmediated mind (which I think of often) then maybe Therapy could work idk. If only I didn't suffer from bipolar with, depression being so prevalent than maybe Therapy could work. I'll tell you that having that diagnoses certainly made me feel worse, less of a competent person, less of a worthy person. In a sense reaffirming that there is something wrong with me and me telling myself, see I told you, you were right about yourself. I'm almost done here. I did want to mention that I just now learned that diff Therapies work for diff people. I just now figured out my traditional therapies are not working. I have decided to try DBT Therapy, not CBT. I am currently researching to find hopefully the right one thru my health coach/insurance. I am looking forward to trying this new method. In the back of my mind though it questions if getting what I so desperately need is really possible. I will try my hardest though. Thanks for reading, I know this is long. Crystal
    • Crystal
      Feb. 19, 2013
      Sorry, It' suppose to read unmedicated mind not unmediated mind. Typo. Crystal
    • Crystal
      Feb. 19, 2013
      Jerry, I meant to address my post to you in reference to your comment. I don't know what happen. Crystal
    • Crystal
      Feb. 19, 2013
      Jerry, I meant to address my post to you in reference to your comment. I don't know what happen. Crystal
  • Alfredo and Cheryl
    Feb. 18, 2013

    With a fixed mindset I could not help myself - therapy was not working: ‘What will happen to me if I change?’ Anxiety was high.

     

    By changing to a flexible mindset, I have been able to help myself and I no longer fear change. Less anxiety and therapy works fine.

    • Jerry Kennard
      Health Pro
      Feb. 19, 2013

      Hi Cheryl,

       

      Your comment about anxiety and fixed mindsets is very accurate. There's a certain amount of concern over failing to do what is 'required' of therapy, as though it might be some kind of test or personal challenge. As you say, freeing up your mind to other possibilities that don't include elements of win-or-lose, achieve-or-fail, gives much...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hi Cheryl,

       

      Your comment about anxiety and fixed mindsets is very accurate. There's a certain amount of concern over failing to do what is 'required' of therapy, as though it might be some kind of test or personal challenge. As you say, freeing up your mind to other possibilities that don't include elements of win-or-lose, achieve-or-fail, gives much more scope for allowing new possibilities.

       

      Thanks for contributing a comment and adding to the discussion.

       

      Jerry

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