Cutting and other forms of self harm

As a concerned and loving parent, discovering your son or daughter has been cutting can be quite a shock. No matter what your personal feelings or concerns are at this stage it is important to put negative emotions like anger, fear, indignation or guilt aside. This is the very last thing your child needs and it may simply add to the problem. Remember that your child already feels a good deal of shame and guilt about cutting so they may resent this new intrusion by becoming angry and dismissive. The first step in helping may be a very practical one. Do cuts need treating or stitching? Have they become infected? Thereafter, you may want to seek out some psychological support in the form of counseling or possibly cognitive therapy. Your family doctor should be able to offer guidance as to what services are available in your area.

As the person who cuts, or who uses other forms of self harm, the evidence to date suggests you are unlikely to resolve your problems by yourself. Even if you stop cutting it doesn't mean your problems are solved. You may simply turn to some alternative form of self harm.

Everyone's circumstances are different and some have a more pressing need for immediate professional help. As a general rule I think it's safe to say that it will be enormously helpful to you if you can talk to a trusted person. This may be a friend, teacher, counselor, priest, doctor or some member of your family. You'll need to be able to explore the reasons why you cut and think of alternative ways of coping. The person you talk to may not feel equipped to help and they may suggest you seek specialist help. They are probably right, but moving beyond what is often a secretive and destructive period in your life is important. If you can only talk to someone and reassure them you aren't expecting any more than this, it will be a very important first step. Then, when you feel ready, it might be time to seek out more professional help.