I activated the DVR to play the conclusion of "The Family Stone", a movie about and a family at Christmas. The mother/grandmother is dying of cancer. Deep movies usually bring a few tears to my eyes and that is the case today as I lie here alone and watch the movie.

Today was the beginning of chemo session #3. After my 3 hour treatment at the oncologist's " Recliner Room " I came home with the pump that fits in a fanny pack on my hip. When I left the group and they saw it. I said, " I'm ready to take a hike! I'm going to hike home and lie on the sofa! " And now I sit on the sofa with the pump delivering 5-FU poison, ( My Favorite! ) through a clear tube, thinner than a piece of spagetti, into a large vein near my heart. The tube connects to a battery sized port, implanted beneath my skin, about an inch below my left collarbone. The reason the port then connects to a large vein through another 5 inich tube is the poison is more diluted in a large vein and won't damage the vein wall as it would in a less diluted small vein.

So far, the side effects of the day are:  Tingling in my figertips, cramps in the ankles that makes standing or walking a bit painful, cold sensitivity which does not allow me to touch anything from the frig with my bare hands or drink anthing much colder than room temp, slight nausea and headache, and fatigue which leaves me to choose between writing this, lying down and watching TV.

I live life moment to moment, testing what my body , and my condition, will allow.

   The Will to Win

Saturday morning I headed out to Firethorne Country Club, where the rich live, to play against them in the opening league match of the season. I didn't feel very well or strong but told myself I would start and retire if I couldn't do it. I am the captain of this team and knew no one was available to take my place. Lou, my partner, and I took to the clay courts and warmed up with our opponents. I decided to try to save energy but play aggressive. You can't really do both. We came out of the box fast and won the first 4 games. Easy, right? Not! They won the next 4 games. Somehow we won the next 2 games that gave us the first set in a best of three. I still felt very uneasy about our chances, even though my stamina was holding up. The second set was theirs as they won 6 games in a row. I'm thinking we are not going to win this but let's not just lie down.

The whole time Lou is getting frustrated and tired as he usually does. When He made a good shot, and he made many, I tried to inspire him. He would lean on his racket after a long point and stall for time a little. I knew he was not going to die. The 3rd set was tied 3-3. We played hard, smart, inspired tennis. When we won the 7th game, I said, " Just 2 more, we can do this!" We hit good lobs over their heads and charged the net behind them, ready for the put away kill. 

We did it! Won the set, 6-3, and therefore the match. They won 13 games to our 12. Yet we won when we needed to. The memory of that hardfought match will carry me for a while. On that day I triumphed and that feels so good. I don't know if my chemo will allow it again  this coming Sat. when we play at Barclay Downs, more richies. Hope this tennis stuff wasn't too boring.