Hi,

ok, I have five months left here in my lease.  Time sure goes by fast.

I need to call the property management company and find out if I can renew the lease for six more months since the stress of the noise here is less than the stress of moving again so soon.  I hate feeling I am at the mercy of others' when the others are bad, noncaring, callous, mean, whatever besides nice and kind.  And I feel vunerable right now...I hate that...

I am afraid.  I have asked several times if the landlord would do something about the crazy loud AC unit and the prop. management woman seemed so callous and noncaring.  And said no. 

Then I left another message about something else, and again, she seemed so callous. 

Of course prop. management folks are not always very nice...well, I hate talking to her and dread having to call and ask about renewing the lease...especially since one of my questions was regarding leaving early since the noise was making me ill.

Well, the noise still is not good, but what I do is leave the gas fireplace on trickling so the soothing noise of the flames flickering helps soothe my nerves.  Plus, several other things.

Moving again so soon would be more stress and worse....

I just dread calling the lady, hate talking to her...I get extremely angry...and she just has been callous and cold in previous interactions...and she is one of those overstressed people who seem to care less about the tenants (even though she should treat them with respect and caring) as should the landlord...

and I am afraid of what she will say...even though I have paid my rent on time every month...and they should be hoping I'll stay longer, since it benefits both the owner and the management company...

it makes me feel rage just thinking about her...and asking for six months lease...instead of another year...just what she'll say and how she has acted in the past...I don't ever want to deal with her again...but I do not want to move again so soon, since I get very ill with that stress..

and I am very on edge right now...knowing I have to call and deal with her and the whole thing..

(I am yelling at my adorable kitten right now since I hate that woman so much and feel such anxiety) Plus, all other things creating anxiety right now...adding on..

But I have to do this. And then do other things.  And I feel such stress. And rage bubbling up when I feel vulnerable like this...(like people care nothing about when I feel unbearable pain and fatigue...)

I know I am not in a positive frame of mind lately...not enough being at the mountain or in nature due to winter and the cold...