Anyone feel they are trying to make their thoughts more positive and there are just some core beliefs that keep taking over? Especially in times of stress...
I do...
Now some days, I believe the positive more and on really bad days, the negative ones seem to keep coming up...
I would like to eradicate these negative ones from my consciousness or work with them or whatever we do to change negative core beliefs...probably in the unconscious....coming from early childhood...
What I want to believe is....the world is a safe, good, nurturing place
There are many or mostly good people who are safe and can be trusted...
....I deserve a good life and marraige and livelihood and money in exchange for my energy and gifts or talents to pay for food, living etc.
I have specific talents unique to me that I deserve and should use to do something positive and in exchange, receive some compensation so I can pay for my needs...
I am equal to others, not above or below...we are all equal...
...I have the confidence and strength to create a life that fits me and my soul and creates joy for me and others
One I want to change is....I don't want to be happy if my loved ones are not...or ....if I am happy, this will make loved ones suffer somehow and I don't want this...
I would like to think...if I am happier, my loved ones are happier...
...It is ok to be the real me and I am good at the core
...I can heal and it is ok...
I can both give and receive help and it is ok...
I also would like to have a clear awareness of what my best talents are! So I can focus on these and put my energy here....anyone else have trouble knowing or somehow believing in what their gifts are?
Marishka, I still struggle with this all the time, but it's getting better - partly because of age, partly because I've worked so hard on it as part of the EMDR I'm doing. I've always felt like there are some core beliefs that are as deep as bone marrow and no amount of affirmations will get rid of them. However, the EMDR is seeming to get at that place, maybe like chemotherapy! Our reactions to things that trigger us are so automatic because they become part of the brain circuitry, I think it takes something extraordinary to disconnect it. I think that's why CBT doesn't work really well for me, because it doesn't get IN there, it feels like a mind game.
Another thing, I think, is that if you're making a decision based on what you truly feel is best for you, to somehow be able to let it go and accept whatever consequences it has - and also, not to beat yourself up if it turns out that you made a mistake. We are only human, after all. We are going to make mistakes because we can't know everything, can't predict the future, can't predict 100% how people will be affected by us, etc., etc. Do you think maybe your anxiety about making decisions is because you're afraid of being wrong? I think your idea of weighing pros and cons is good, but sometimes there can be more than one right choice because it isn't about good and bad.
Sorry to ramble on and I need to get going this morning, have a lot of things to do, but hope you can find more peace. Hope you have a good week-end.
Thanks Judy...I hear how helpful EMDR is for you in this and PTSD and it remains something I will do when I figure out with whom...