What are the biggest blessings in your life?  For what are you most grateful?

I am reading a book called Living in Gratitude that I just received as a gift in the mail....it is lifting my mood...

It has excercises to do each month to cultivate gratitude in one's life.

Now, I have not been feeling very grateful lately....been finding fault with each area of my life and resentment and huge frustration that I am not able to change more quickly the life I find myself in to the one I envision or want...

And it is time to look at the glass half full again...

It is easy to complain about my health, finances, work, and relationships.  If I sum it up lately to myself...I think, 'they are all screwed up!'

Lately, I have just been thinking....I must have cancer, some very bad illness, the doctor yesterday said , 'there is no such thing as fibromyalgia.  It is just a label and a way many people have made a lot of money. '

He wrote instructions for me to take high doses of 5-HTP and told me it would take me a year to get off Zoloft, but that is his recommendation.  Plus, stop the ativan and tramadol in time.

He wrote me a referral for an MRI of my head.  He told me to go to Mexico where I could get it much cheaper than here.

Now, I have been very resentful lately of my situation in each of the  areas of my life- health, livlihood, finances and relationships....and it seems as hard as I try to change each area, something remains a mystery as to how to do it and it just seems it is not happening.  Or it is happening so imperceptably slowly that I want to pull my hair out.

However, breaking them down some more and really looking at each one with new eyes...I can see light, growth and hope in each area....(of course I don't like to be too positive either.....just since it feels too scary...so I opt for a middle ground...)  But it is certainly time to move towards the positive end of the spectrum on viewing my life....since lately...I have been far too much towards the negative...

It is quite easy for me to think and feel...I am 30 pounds overweight!  Out of the blue, I experience unbearable pain, fatigue so bad I can't stand up, and I can't...to this....or that....I used to be able to....and on and on...blah blah blah...

Time to focus on the positive again!....

So here is my grateful list today, something in each area...

health- I am very grateful that today I can stand, walk, run, play tennis, bike, hike, swim.  I am very grateful that just today,  I feel very little if any pain in my body.  I can even run 4 miles or so and enjoy it on good days!

Three years ago, I could not do any of this.  I had to have help to stand up I was so fatigued...I can drive a few hours today.  I could not do this three years ago.

I could have what the doctor said...and what I believe also...adrenal glands that are  overworked due to PTSD, depression, and trauma and chronic stress for decades..maybe I don't have cancer...