why do we

Marishka Community Member March 17, 2013
  • get depressed when we are overwhelmed?

     

    well, I can see why...

     

    overwhelmed means afraid......afraid we do not have what we need to do it all or cope.

     

    And fear is not easy to feel.  So we change that to anger to feel more in control.

     

    And then we  turn that anger towards ourselves if we cannot figure out how to get it out.  So maybe this makes sense. 

     

    Very quickly if I am overwhelmed, I become depressed.

     

    Like always, has to be broken down into managable steps.  And so I will work on this next week.  Write down the steps.  Also good to talk about feelings so I will on here and with my therapist.  Plus, get myself to nature.  Journal.  Be with friends.

     

    Plus, remember that only one thing has to be done at a time.  And that is all that can be done.  Then faith and a positive attitude.

     

    I still feel depressed, but I will push myself to take baby steps in a positive direction.

     

    I know I need many many days out in the wilderness so I will try to give that to myself to clear my head.

8 Comments
  • Aubrey (aml0017)
    Apr. 03, 2013

    I definitely do get anxious/depressed when I am overwhelmed also. It especially happens when I feel overwhelmed by something in my life that I feel I dont have any control over.  I start overgeneralizing and thinking that things will NEVER get better and that I am totally helpless to do anything about it.  Of course, this is never the truth, but it...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I definitely do get anxious/depressed when I am overwhelmed also. It especially happens when I feel overwhelmed by something in my life that I feel I dont have any control over.  I start overgeneralizing and thinking that things will NEVER get better and that I am totally helpless to do anything about it.  Of course, this is never the truth, but it is hard to see that in the moment.  I like your idea about "thinking grey", never heard it put that way before.  I need to focus on that also and stay away from the apocalyptic thinking.  Easier said than done though.

  • jpw2008
    Mar. 18, 2013

    Hi Mariska

    Sounds like you have good ideas

    A very good plan

    i am very erratic in my writing

    I havent got the consistency right yet

    I hope you are able to keep it up

    jon

    • Marishka
      Mar. 18, 2013

      Hi Jon, me too- erratic in my writing and in other stuff sometimes too...

       

      how is your day going?  what are you up to lately?

       

      I am feeling overwhelmed still and confused...but trying to just take it one step at a time...praying, resting...asking for help...

       

      I feel I need to spend a lot of time out in nature to clear my head...

       ...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hi Jon, me too- erratic in my writing and in other stuff sometimes too...

       

      how is your day going?  what are you up to lately?

       

      I am feeling overwhelmed still and confused...but trying to just take it one step at a time...praying, resting...asking for help...

       

      I feel I need to spend a lot of time out in nature to clear my head...

       

      those are good ideas aren't they !?:) yeah, follow through is the important part right?!   I am trying to follow through...in baby steps...one tiny one after the other....and when I get scared, I try to comfort myself with something...that is very important...because I get scared a lot...

       

      I usually feel I want a hug all the time and someone there telling me it is all ok, I am going well, and things will be ok...

       

      are you posting lately?  I have been erratic on the computer lately too...not sure what I am talking about since everything does not seem very clear today in my mind..:)  I guess just keep on trying right ?  asking for guidance..

       

       

       

       

    • jpw2008
      Mar. 18, 2013

      I agree That being overwhelmed leads depression

      I have not posted

      I meant that is why am erratic in my writing

      I guess it could be writing period.

      I emailed someone the other day

      I couldnt find the words thats why I have not posted

      I think Alot of the things I do are Counter-productive

      Playing A lot of online games is one of them

      I go to the library most days...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I agree That being overwhelmed leads depression

      I have not posted

      I meant that is why am erratic in my writing

      I guess it could be writing period.

      I emailed someone the other day

      I couldnt find the words thats why I have not posted

      I think Alot of the things I do are Counter-productive

      Playing A lot of online games is one of them

      I go to the library most days

      I go to stewarts coffee shop too

      not too much else

      Jon

  • absent minded
    Mar. 17, 2013

    "...get depressed when we are overwhelmed?

    well, I can see why... 

    overwhelmed means afraid......afraid we do not have what we need to do it all or cope.

    And fear is not easy to feel.  So we change that to anger to feel more in control

    And then we  turn that anger towards ourselves if we cannot figure out how to get it out.  So maybe this...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    "...get depressed when we are overwhelmed?

    well, I can see why... 

    overwhelmed means afraid......afraid we do not have what we need to do it all or cope.

    And fear is not easy to feel.  So we change that to anger to feel more in control

    And then we  turn that anger towards ourselves if we cannot figure out how to get it out.  So maybe this makes sense. 

    Very quickly if I am overwhelmed, I become depressed."

     

    Oddly enough, Marishka, I just posted about this same thing before I read yours.  You said it very well.  Overwhelmed turns to fear, fear to anger, anger to depression.

     

    I am so afraid if I take care of my own needs, I will be accused of not taking care of my mother's needs.  But I may have to just allow that to happen.  Some people, they need so much that they use you all up, not even meaning to.  And to me, there can be no intermediate level of care. I have to be on-call 24x7 or I might as well give up.  Because that's what she expects.  And I want to meet her expectations, get her approval, be the good daughter.  But I'm killing myself in the attempt to do so.

     

    I think I understand your statement about "being in the wilderness."  Are you saying it is necessary to draw away from everything/everyone and be alone in order to repair yourself?

     

    A friend this afternoon asked if I had too much on my plate.  I said my plate was showing signs of stress-fracture.  How true.

    • Marishka
      Mar. 18, 2013

      Hi Donna,

       

      I am confused today.  how is your day going?

       

      I try to remember to think in grey- not black and white....

       

      because I know when I am depressed, I think black and white, all or nothing...and it is productive to think in grey....many variations and options...

       

      I am not clear today, but wanted to respond...

       

      I hope...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hi Donna,

       

      I am confused today.  how is your day going?

       

      I try to remember to think in grey- not black and white....

       

      because I know when I am depressed, I think black and white, all or nothing...and it is productive to think in grey....many variations and options...

       

      I am not clear today, but wanted to respond...

       

      I hope we can think of some good options for ourselves and make some healthy choices that are in the grey area...

       

      are you going to do anything fun today just for yourself?  let some steam go...?

       

      take your dog for a walk?  I sat with my cat outside in the back and pulled weeds and she loves it when I am out there with her and I like to see her rolling around on the ground and happy...

       

      I am trying to think positive- I feel down and confused still... scared and undeserving, trying to keep from turning the anger on myself still...

       

      have to try to exercise a lot...this helps...

    • Marishka
      Mar. 18, 2013

      Hi Donna, yes, I guess we must take care of our own needs to be there for others...we have to take good care of ourselves to be able to be there for others...

       

      lots of times, I get scared doing this too- feel something bad will happen, selfish, who knows what....

       

      baby steps...I have been crying a lot lately...which is fine...

       

      yes, the wilderness-...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hi Donna, yes, I guess we must take care of our own needs to be there for others...we have to take good care of ourselves to be able to be there for others...

       

      lots of times, I get scared doing this too- feel something bad will happen, selfish, who knows what....

       

      baby steps...I have been crying a lot lately...which is fine...

       

      yes, the wilderness- I find my peace there...

       

      and all the jumbled thinking seems to just come to a stillness and my body relaxes...so I need to take myself out there even though it is a drive...each week...

       

      do you have parks nearby?

       

      I hope today is a good day

       

      Marishka

       

       

    • Marishka
      Mar. 18, 2013

      You do have a lot on your plate and emotionally too, like me.  I encourage both of us to take some needed breaks to refresh ourselves...

       

      does walking your dog refresh you?  do you have a dog park?

       

      I wonder if you could say no to some get togethers and yes to some, not all or nothing?  I am trying to think this way for myself too....kind...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      You do have a lot on your plate and emotionally too, like me.  I encourage both of us to take some needed breaks to refresh ourselves...

       

      does walking your dog refresh you?  do you have a dog park?

       

      I wonder if you could say no to some get togethers and yes to some, not all or nothing?  I am trying to think this way for myself too....kind of middle ground?

       

      time to take myself to nature...