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I'm sorry this happened
Merely Me
Monday, November 09, 2009 at 09:41 PMre: I'm sorry this happened
Marishka
Monday, November 09, 2009 at 09:56 PMHi Merely Me,
Thank you. Yeah, I don't think anyone should share before they feel ready either. And the group is really really stressful for some reason. I think because everyone has such strong emotions--namely anger--since it's a depression group and much depression I think is anger turned inwards so once people have the chance to vent, it's pretty intense.
I suppose a group of angry tense people in a room always has been a trigger for me since it reminds me of my family growing up.
I will try not to take it to heart and try to let the old negative messages go of...I'm a victim, I can't stop them from attacking me ( I could leave the room),I'm not as strong or powerful as the others, or good, or competent or everyone's anger is my fault, or whatever gets triggered from my childhood.
And I do share a ton here!! I don't absorb the energy of people's feelings online so I can breathe --- I have that sponge tendency in a room of people...Thank you for your support- I will try to let it go tonight and be nice to myself.
Cheers,
Marishka
re: re: I'm sorry this happened
Merely Me
Monday, November 09, 2009 at 10:04 PMI do hope it goes better for you next time. But remember that not all support groups are...well...supportive. You have to make sure it is the right group for you. But I would give it more of a chance. Try to assign good motives to people...don't be naive either but...sometimes people honestly mean no harm.
Yes do be kind to yourself...you deserve it.
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Group
Judy
Monday, November 09, 2009 at 11:11 PMMarishka, I've been in a group for a long time and it really does tend to replicate a family and its various dynamics. It's kind of a chance to interact in a safe place in a way you couldn't with your family. Sometimes people get confrontive, but you can only share as you feel comfortable. It took me ages before I could talk much - and that's exactly how it was in my family. Opening your mouth got you in trouble.
Like Merely Me said, give it a little more time, it does take a while to feel comfortable and it's good you stuck up for yourself. At least the guy apologized, which is something. Hope it gets better for you.
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Untitled Comment
fifi
Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 06:40 AMHi Marishka
I feel shy in groups as well, so tend to clam up a bit so I would hate it if someone said that to me in front of everyone. I think it's up to you to talk when you want to.
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sorry you meeting was bad
MACEYMOM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 09:05 AMHi Marishka,
Apparently that guy was having a bad day also but to bad you became the target of his anger. I was in two support group's before and if we wanted to talk fine, if we didn't that was fine too. You should not be made to talk because that would be forcing you and that would not be good either. I hope things go better for your next meeting.
Like they say you don't know exactly what problems that guy was having either.
It does seem alot easier to write you problems down then to air them in public. But I am new to this site so.....
Good LuckMaceymom
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Hey Marishka
Well maybe look at it this way...maybe this was his brutish way of saying he wished you would talk more because he is interested in what you have to say. I really can't imagine that you don't share because you share a ton here! It is hard to be in a live support group and I don't think you should "share" until you are ready and feel comfortable. It is a vulnerable time.
Anyways...people will say things but you can't take them all to heart. This is one growing experience you will have as being part of a group. I think you are doing well. So don't feel bad at all about yourself.
And thanks for sharing here.