Looking back, I think that was the first time I started to question all those depressed beliefs about being a mess, inside and out - doing everything wrong, judged by all the people around me, and on and on. Gradually, I started thinking - Well, maybe all that stuff I keep repeating about how bad I am in every conceivable way is partly depressive thinking - at least a little bit of it.

It took many years for me to see how pervasive depressed thinking was and how convincingly it twisted my mental self-portrait. A lot more of those years went by before a recovery I could hardly imagine finally happened - though I can't say exactly why or how

These days, I can go outside in the sun and see how beautiful everything around me is. And I can think, I am a part of all this, and I don’t have to listen to what depression is saying. That voice used to be the loudest sound in my mind, but now it’s an occasional nuisance that I know how to get rid of.

Getting better started with that glimmer of doubt about all the negative beliefs and a reminder that there was something still there that others could see, even if I couldn't.

So I’ll say it to you, even if you can’t believe it, because it’s true, really true.

You are so beautiful.